The TARDIS lands in London where the Doctor and Dodo (played by Helen Goldwyn) find that sixteen year old computer hacker Brett Professor has created a super virus which will infect computers world wide and turn their users into mindless zombies. The Doctor thinks that sounds remarkably like working in an office but he's much too busy hitting it off with swinging London babe Polly (Joanna Lumley) and warding off the attentions of her East End seaman friend Ben (David Beckham).

When the Doctor discovers that Brett's other plan is to create war machines which will not only destroy what remains of London's resistance to his virus but which are also small enough to fit in peoples pockets (and which are Bluetooth compatible), he realises he must lay the foundations for his future exile and smarm up to the local military.

With time running out, the army's dial up connection being no match for Brett's broadband, Polly trying to pull Ben even though he's openly gay and the sinister prospect of 3G War Machines which have built in GPS, colour digital cameras and full WAP capabilities, the Doctor knows that the fate of millions of people rest in his wise old hands.

Now then, hows about that then?