Is it just me that thinks that every time I leave the Tardis the monsters just look at me and think I'm rubbish? Do they email each other when I'm not around and say that even my hair can't stand me or that I smell older than I really am?

Are there badgers stalking me in the shadows, ready to leap out once I've been attacked by every single more threatening species in the Universe? Is there a queue?

Will the day come when I'm confronted by an evil alien monster and I won't be able to think of anything witty to say before I defeat him? Has that day been and gone and now people just pity my poor quality repartee?

People ask me if I think the glass is half full or half empty. I can never answer the question because I become convinced that if I get too close I'll fall in and nearly drown and no one will sympathise and say "he nearly drowned in a half full glass of water", they'll inevitably say "he nearly drowned in a half empty glass of water".

Is it just me?