Educationalists plan to "refocus" teaching of History

Top education experts (but not teachers as they aren't paid enough) have produced what they call a "plan" to refocus how history is taught in schools to our young people, some of whom are as little as eight or under.

"We feel that not enough attention is paid to the main emphasis of historical studies and too much is wasted on negative re-enforcement and stereotype confirmation" said Gregory Pubbes of the Strategic Replanning Unit. "It is entirely possible to educate our young consumers without resorting to anti-positive negative-empathy."

We asked Mr Pubbes what the hell he was talking about.

"To put it in basic terms, we believe and have recommended to the Ministry of Education, that the delivery of a history based education can be achieved within a de-nationalised context."

Nope - still didn't get that, matey.

"Take World War Two for example. Is it absolutely essential that this conflict be taught as a war between Great Britain and the German people? We believe not. That simply enforces hostile generalities and indoctrinates our next generation adults with anti-Germanic prejudices. It is an undisputed fact that it could've been any nation that we were at war with in 1939 and it just happened to be our German partners. By removing the negative geographical imagery from the syllabus we will be core focusing the educative resources on the essential learning matrix of non-racist anti-fascism central values."

Once this insanity takes hold, what next for the Strategic Replanning Unit?

"We are to recommend that certificates of exam performance be abolished and replaced by a more positive system where every potential future achiever receives a round of applause from their classmates on their final day. Academic qualifications were all fine and dandy in the nineteenth century but I believe that today's tomorrow shapers would be better served with the self respect that the congratulation of their peers brings rather than some meaningless piece of stuffy paper."