"WiFi is next stage of evolution" claims tech

The latest step in technology improving our lives was unveiled at a geeky convention last week. It involves the implanting of a small wireless computer into the stomach of a person which can analyse the contents of the stomach and send warning messages to its owner.

"Imagine the possibilities" said Mike Belly of AtlanticComTechCorpsInc, "This device will literally send you an email or text message if it detects you becoming hungry. Imagine how much better peoples lives will be if they get these warnings."

Will the device be able to order food for its owner?

"This isn't Star freakin' Trek" snapped Mr Belly. "It's taken us ten years to get this far and we're not stupid enough to waste ten more years on something that could be achieved in two minutes with a telephone and a man on a motorbike."

I would've asked more questions but my stomach rumbled and Mr Belly accused me of having stolen one of his prototypes.