BUSH WINS UN “WEAKEST LINK” SPECIAL

President George Bush Junior won a controversial victory in a special version of The Weakest Link featuring world leaders. Mr Bush’s victory comes amid claims that he received especially easy questions owing to him being in control of the world’s largest arsenal of nuclear weapons.

“I am shocked that anyone would suggest the contest was rigged” said ginger valkarie Anne Robinson. “The questions were fair and the contest was just.”

But quiz expert Magnus Magnusson disagrees. “The bout was clearly a fix” he explained. “The winning question concerned the breakfast he’d eaten than morning whilst his opponent’s question was delivered in Latin.”

The BBC declined to comment, saying “These allegations are rubbish and are clearly politically motivated."

The News Womb has scrutinised the tape and here are Mr Bush’s questions –

“Tinky Winky, Dipsy, Lala and Po make up which tubby television team?”

“Name the lead character in the series Xena : Warrior Princess”

“Which country was suspected of having weapons of mass destruction before the recent war in Iraq?”

“Which party does newly elected governor Arnold Schwarzenegger represent?” (his answer of “ours” was considered good enough)

“What colour is the White House?”

“What is your wife’s name?”

“When is your birthday?”

“Do you want a cup of coffee?”

“Who won the 2000 Presidential election?” (he got this one wrong but no one held it against him in the voting)

“If I have two beans in my left hand and two beans in my right hand, do I have four beans?”

“Ice hockey is played on which cold surface?”

“Name an animal that produces meat”

“Are you wearing a tie?”

“Is pro wrestling a real sport?”

Voting was described as “motivated by nuclear fear” and saw the French President, the British Prime Minister, the German Chancellor, the Italian geezer, the Canadian bloke and that woman from Ireland eliminated one by damn one before Mr Bush defeated Prince Edward in the final.