14 THINGS YOU WILL BE A BETTER PERSON FOR KNOWING

Are you scared of someone knocking on your door and asking you if you wouldn't mind answering a few questions? Do you dread walking down the street and being told be a passing Chris Tarrant that you should apply for his show because he's got a mate who can get you into the studio for nothing? Well you've come to the apposite spot because our team of incentive based employees have been slaving over a hot mouse to bring you fourteen more pieces of pure fact chocolate.

1. Richard Whitely spent three years living as a bandit in Mexico before returning to England and a job on Calendar.
2. Toast is an antidepressant.
3. Mumps is the heaviest virus known to mankind.
4. The greatest achievement of dyslexic physics was when a team managed to split the aspirin.
5. Cars which hover do not have to pay road tax.
6. In-growing toenails are a sign that your feet really love you.
7. Any piece of paper is legal tender as long as the Queen has signed it.
8. Tigers eat people as a sign of affection.
9. The Government employs one person for every citizen of the UK to snoop on them 24 hours a day.
10. Italy is an island and merely clings on to mainland Europe like the unpopular child at primary school who won’t leave the cool boys alone.
11. Unrequited love burns off twice as many calories as mutual affection.
12. Hollywood is planning a remake of The Flumps starring Martin Sheen as Pootle.
13. In 2002 Microsoft gave every single one of its employees an hour with a prostitute to thank them for the success of Windows XP.
14. In a survey, 84% of all atheists would buy a faith if it meant they could get a cushy job as a Bishop.