14 THINGS YOU DID NOT KNOW

Is this your face? Do you get this expression when asked trivia questions? Are you ashamed at your naked ignorance? Well fear not because theNEWSwomb has scoured the Earth and beyond to bring you slices of calorie free fact which you simply will not get anywhere else. Sit back, pull up a chair, get yourself a cup of coffee, take the phone off the hook and bathe in the spring of pure knowledge.

1. The shelf is officially recognised by the Vatican as a gift from God
2. Chocolate is a metal
3. Handcuffs were part of the wedding ceremony until 1965
4. Oral sex gives you the same amount of pleasure as two tonnes of sneezing
5. Superman was originally called 'Fucklemon The Barbarian"
6. Tuesday is the newest day of the week
7. To be healthy, humans should eat two portions of soil a day
8. 'Masturbate' comes from the latin word 'mastabus' meaning 'relief following a storm or downpour'
9. Two American states are powered entirely by burning Michael Bolton's used hair
10. Arsenal Football Club worship gods banned in the rest of England by Kind Edward the Third
11. Laughing makes you fat
12. Dale Winton patented three homosexual acts
13. March is named after the Norse god of walking rhythmically
14. Toilet roll was invented by accident