Looking at the papers
 

"Suicidal Sheep Massing at Beachy Head" (Daily Mail)

"Internet Craze To Last Until The End of the Year" claims Jeff (Telegraph)

"Shares in Timmy Mallett Fall to a New High" (Financial Times)

"Sugar Shaped Dog Stalks Coventry" (Mirror)

"Oliver Letwin in Self Awareness Catastrophe" (Times)

"Britain Must Go or Stay and Vice Versa" (Daily Express)

"Jordan Has Breasts" (Star)