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DOCTOR SUED FOR SAVING LIFE A California woman whose husband was involved in a near-fatal car accident is suing the doctor who saved her husband’s life. Crystal Santastein, 32, claims the doctor cost her five million dollars in life insurance by performing a life saving operation on Carl Santastein, 33. “If my husband had died, I would be rich” said Mrs Santastein, “but as he’s not, I’m not rich. If that isn’t gross negligence on the part of the doctor I don’t know what is.”
“This is absurd” said a spokesman for M&Ms Hospital, Beverly Hills. “Doctor Panther saved a man’s life. He did his duty as a doctor and that is the end of the matter as far as we are concerned.” However, in a twist, Doctor Panther has announced he will be suing the Santastein’s for mental distress after learning they were suing him. “It is clear that Doctor Panther has suffered intolerable stress as a result of their action” explained Harvey Drain of Drain, Payne and McBeal. “If a lawsuit isn’t justifiable grounds for a lawsuit then I don’t know what is.” Mrs Santastein has stated her intention of suing her husband for the anxiety involved in the lawsuit she started after his near fatal death. “Mrs Santastein blames her husband for pursuing a course of action which left her no alternative but to begin legal action. The counter suit to her lawsuit has left her a shell of her former self” explained her attorney. Mr Santastein has consulted his lawyers about a possible counter suit against his wife’s parents from gross negligence in giving birth. America is doomed.
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“My wife is quite right to sue” said Mr
Santastein. “I insured my life so my wife would be financially secure upon
my death. She therefore had a pecuniary interest in my death. The doctor
interfered with this contractual relationship and therefore created a de
facto actionable breach.”