PETER SISSONS FOUND AFTER PRANK GOES WRONG

News star Peter Sissons was found living in a skip after a joke went much too far. Two months ago, Sissons (31) was handed a post it note saying that the blonde he had ordered was waiting in reception. Once in the BBC's VIP lift Mr Sissons was bound, gagged, tied up, put in a sack and restrained. The bag was then put in the back of a van and driven away.

Security camera footage shows Huw Edwards and Sophie Raworth wielding bundling Mr Sissons into the Ford Transit while George Alagaiah was in the driving seat. At some point in the chaos Mr Sissons banged his head and suffered complete memory loss.

"It was his birthday" explained Ms Raworth between modelling assignments. "You have to do something a bit wacky on someone's birthday - last year they shaved my head and I had to wear an itchy wig for months. I don't see why Peter should get special treatment. It's hardly my fault that George forgot where he'd dumped him."

A postman looking to get rid of his sack of letters to allow him to be first in the queue for Blue tickets discovered Mr Sissons' stinking body in a skip in the Hertfordshire town of Spam.

"He was snoring and clutching a bottle of meths. At first I thought it was a dog but then he muttered something about the Chancellor of the Exchequer and I realised it was a newsreader. I covered my face with a hankie and took a closer look. You could've knocked me down with a pillow when I realised who it was.

The head of BBC news said she was "gratified" that Mr Sissons was back and that she would be "postponing" the legal action for breach of contract that had begun when he failed to turn up for work, pending psychological examinations.

Mr Sissons is expected to be shaved later this week.