BUSH DEFENDS NEW DEATH POLICY

American president George Double-O Bush has defended his new policy for tracking down Saddam Hussein.

"American soldiers will be authoritised to executionate pistolly speaking anyone they want to" explained Mr Bush to shocked journalists. "It will hurt us more than it hurts them because we will still be alive to feel it" he added.

This man - Clive Perkins of Tottenham - was on holiday in Baghdad with his wife Fifi when he became the first casualty of Mr Bush's new scheme.

"He looked suspicious" said Sgt Barry Wildeyes of the third Deadly Infantry. "Look at him - he's clearly foreign and dangerous. In that order."

"It was our first holiday as a family and it ended in tragedy" said Mrs Perkins, 28, as she sobbed into the microphone. "One minute he was buying me an ice cream and the next his head exploded like a melon hit by a bus. There was blood all over the ice cream - such a waste of life."

"I would rather an innocent man go free than a guilty man lock the stable door after the horse has bolted" said President Bush. "No, wait, I'd rather the innocent man bolted the guilty man's door than the guilty man go free... I'll see if I've got it writted down somewhere."

"This is why I joined the army" said Sgt Wildeyes. "To protect America - the greatest country in the world. God bless President Bush."

Clive Perkins has vowed to haunt the White House until the President says he's very very sorry.