SADDAM CONFESSES ABOUT IRAQI WEAPONS

Banged up former Iraqi killer Saddam Hussein has made a shocking admission which has rocked the international killilitary community. Speaking from his luxury cell somewhere in central Florida, Mr Hussein (37) said that Iraq's troops had been trained to use the feared Weapons of Mass Distraction at 45 seconds notice.

"It is simple" explained US Military Man Gen. Bob "Boobs" McFondle. "In a fighting situation the troops would be given a signal and within seconds they would stop and point to something behind the allied forces. When our brave men and women stopped to see what the Iraqi's had spotted they would be shot by those no good cunning foreign bastards."

"We would have no defence against these tactics" admitted Britain's Defence Secretary Sir Gillian Anderson. "Once they launched their weapons of mass distraction, our boys would be wiped out in seconds. Even the French wouldn't stoop that low. It's not bloody fair."

Thankfully the Americans have stepped in to neutralise this potentially lethal weapon by overseeing the decommissioning of every single Iraqi finger.