How Pure is your Energy?

A shock report from the BBC's "Watchdog" programme suggests that Britain's privatised power utility companies are saving money by no longer using pure electricity. The unnamed companies use a variety of methods to make their supplies of energy go further but in doing so they may place the general public - that's you and your kind - at risk of potentially hazardous danger.

One company was found to be adding water to its electricity to dilute it. Watchdog advises that anyone with an electric oven should use it and, if any steam is produced, they should telephone their utility company and make demands of them.

Another company was found to be mixing electricity with a compound of caffeine and salt. The resulting hybrid looks and smells just like normal electricity but produces only one twenty eighth of the power. It can also damage some makes of kettle if used for long periods. Another shabby trick is to cut the electricity with baking soda or talcum powder and hope no one notices.

A well known utility conglomerate even resorted to painting its electricity pipes a vivid shade of yellow to convince local residents that the pipes were full of genuine energy. In fact they contained nothing but previously excited soot. Far from being unusual, this type of shoddy deception is all too commonplace in modern Britain.

The Government announced it would do all it could to do something about the situation including investigating whether or not it was true.