"Doctor Who?" promotion begins in earnest

The forthcoming new series of popular time travel entertainment series "Doctor Who?" is to be the subject of the largest cross promotional promotion campaign yet seen on British Television. Head of Drama Jeff Menstra said that it would be "significant" and "vast".

"Basically" he explained, "the significance and vastness of this advertising campaign will ensure that there isn't a man, woman, child or viewer on the surface of Britain who isn't aware that the "Doctor Who?" brand is returning to their screens."

Criticism has already begun to pour in over last night's 6.30 weather report which was presented by a Dalek.

"That was brilliant. The British people love their weather - they enjoy it every single day - and so by associating "Doctor Who?" and the weather forecast we hope to establish the "Doctor Who?" brand in their brains."

Was this simply a one off gimmick?

"We've currently commissioned one hundred and twelve Dalek weather broadcasts with an option to do another one thousand and eight if viewing figures improve."

We asked what other plans Mr Menstra and his team had for advertising this new show.

"We have huge plans, baby, like entering a team from The Academy in the Boat Race, William Russell will be presenting Top of the Pops, Stephen Hawking will be giving a lecture on particle reversal during a National Lottery Live show, you won't be able to move for scarves and hats, Margi Clarke will be exterminated at half time during the Cup Final and we're even hoping that we can persuade an anti-mater creature to try and pass into this reality via the Internet. It is a great time to be a supporter of the "Doctor Who?" brand."

"Doctor Who?" is 47.