BBC in Fresh Weather Storm

Mere weeks and days after the shock revelations about John Kettley, the BBC is facing new controversy about its weather presentations. The popular daily bulletins - a fixture for years and years and years - have been criticised for dropping the traditional symbols for rain, sunshine, snow and death in favour of coloured pictures of Tony Blair's face.

"Mr Blair is the perfect person to be linked with the weather brand" explained nonsense guru Anthony Cleopatra. "When it is sunny, we all feel the warmth of Tony's smile, when it is wet we can feel better for imagining that Tony is sympathising with us every drop of the way."

"This is patently political" said Conservative Michael Bark. "The weather is officially classified as an act of God so by associating the right honourable gentleman, the Prime Minister, with acts of God they may mislead the public into thinking Mr Blair is God."

"That would be extremely regrettable" said the Arch Bishop of Stevenage, Alan Fiddler, "unless of course it lead to a Church of England landslide at the next religious election."

"We see nothing improper in this affair" explained Michael Grade "and if it should happen to lead to a knighthood or a peerage for myself or someone very like me then this is yet another cross I shall have to wear."

Ian McKaskill was unavailable for comment but stressed "It's a fucking disgrace and if I had an ounce of balls I'd tear a hole in Grade's face."