School Charity Night Soaked in Blood

Bendaton High School in the village of Bendaton, Firkinside recently raised over three hundred pounds at its annual "Behead a Hen Night". The event, held on the sixth Wednesday of Autumn, has been going on for twelve years now and involves parents and teachers meeting in an informal atmosphere of wine, cheese, biscuits, first names and chopping the heads of live hens.

"It's basically a bit of fun for a good cause" explained head master Mr Moister. "Everyone has a good time. We even lay on inflatable hens filled with tomato sauce for the vegetarian parents."

The Bendaton Globe sent a photographer to cover the event and he reported that it was "like seeing someone with a nose bleed having a sneezing fit".

"I cannot believe that such things happen in this day and age" said Maisy Stumpton of the Firkinside Hen Protection Society. "We tried to sabotage the event but we didn't have a pound coin each to get tickets."

Mr Moister refuted the claims that the event should be cancelled because it is cruel. "Do they want us to take the food out of sick children's mouths? This event raises a lot of money that goes to good causes and sick children. Sick children are worth more than the lives of a few miserable hens. And I know for a fact that we only use unhappy hens who wanted to die."

Bendaton High School's head of psychology agreed with his boss Mr Moister by adding "I chat to each hen, explain what we're going to do to them and give them a chance to withdraw. None of them ever raise any objections. Fact."