The BBC beats the BBC in Court

The British Botanical College is tonight celebrating their victory over the British Broadcasting Corporation in London's world famous High Court. The BBC sued the BBC over the use of the BBC initials claiming it created confusion in the marketplace. As a result of the verdict, the British Broadcasting Corporation will henceforth be known as BBE or British Broadcasting Entertainment.

"It is quite clear that a lot of potential botanists were confused by there being two BBCs and we have a strong belief that they applied to the other BBC for places on our courses only to be turned down because they weren't Alan Titchmarsh. The judge said that we were quite within our rights to insist on exclusive use of the initials" said Professor Michael Nodule of the BBC. "This was never about money - it was about principle."

"This decision is ridiculous" said BBC lawyer Gerald Wheel. "The two companies have existed side by side for decades and they have only decided to take this action now because they could see that the Corporation was in a state of chaos after that report thing. It's bloody typical of these tree hugging poofs."

Judge Albert Hitler-Smith said that the British Broadcasting Corporation had "invaded the territory of the British Botanical College by setting itself up as the country's leading source for garden based knowledge" and that they had "done so with a reckless disregard for the College's economic future." He refuted the Corporation's claims that the College couldn't prove financial loss saying "It's about principle not money."

From midnight on Monday it will be illegal for BBE to use, broadcast, allow to be broadcast, disseminate, write, speak, think, mime or whisper the initials BBC on pain of a fine the size of Norway.

We asked whether new BBE Chairman Michael Grade would be appealing.

"Not unless he's had a personality transplant since I last saw him" said media expert Guthrie Glennhoddle.

The British Botanical College tonight toasted the verdict with Champaign paid for by the license fee and released a statement saying "You can have your name back if you give us one hundred million pounds - we lied about the principle. Ha ha ha."