The story so far – Unga Khan is an "ambition crazed tyrant" whose aim is "to take his tower to the upper world". So basically he just wants a shag. Strip away the men in skirts, the phallic home, the total lack of women in Atlantis and the gaudy outfit and the entire story takes on a strangely sexual dimension. On with the slides – Sharad is "last of the line of true Atlanteans", Professor Norton "builds rocket motors to aid in the plan", Diana "came along looking for news and found nothing but trouble" (doesn't most news involve a certain amount of trouble?) and Crash Corrigan "battles great odds to save his friends". Oddly they don’t mention the certain death he suffered in chapter seven. Most remiss.

We relive Crash’s last moments of life – the manly grappling, the pathetic rope swing, the lucky (or unlucky) discovery of the life raft, the cocky archer who ultimately killed him to death with his pin point accuracy, the moment Crash sensed danger and dived under water, the impact of the arrows…

Wait a sec.

By Timothy! Crash was under water when the raft exploded. Who would’ve believed it?

"That’s the end of Crash Corrigan" says the black hat leader. Billy is sad.

But he needn’t be – the black hats ride off on their horses and Crash~! emerges from the water. He is reunited with the tearful Billy but seems more concerned with making sure the lake hasn’t followed him.

Crash sends Billy away with the chariot and the priming powder (which they need to power their rocket submarine) while Crash goes off to Unga Khan’s tower. You know, the place he spends odd numbered episodes escaping from and even numbered ones sneaking into.

But wait! Unga Khan has overheard their entire conversation via the magic of tele-vision.

The realisation that the boy is taking the only priming powder in Atlantis back to the Sacred City leaves Khan sucking his thumb while his lackey makes silly suggestions about using torpedoes to recover explosives.

Khan has a better plan – he orders the lackey to order the Volkites to launch a plane thing.

Khan and the lackey look on with ill-disguised pleasure. How utterly evil.

No wonder they’re pleased – the plane thing has a couple of Volkites aboard.

The Volkites hilariously gesture to each other, a conversation which I imagine went something like "Look – the small boy" / "Where?" / "Down there." / "Where am I looking?" / "Down there." / "I can only see a tall stunt man dressed as a small boy." / "Yes – that’s him." / "Well why didn’t you say that in the first place?" / "You always spoil everything."

Billy reaches the Sacred City and rushes into Sharad’s place with the two remaining canisters of priming powder. The Volkite air ship turns round and goes home again. I’m not entirely sure why they bothered coming in the first place.

"Crash is on his way to surprise Unga Khan" says Billy. We cross-fade to Crash in an state of undress that would surprise anyone.

Oh bum – the black hats have spotted Crash running in the undergrowth. I suppose they’re going to chase him now.

Yup – a chase ensues.

But with a clever twist. Here we see several hundred men on several hundred horses racing past a small cave. But Crash is in the cave. Brilliant. A new take on an old classic.

And one which would’ve worked had the very last black hat to ride past the cave not noticed a set of foot prints left miraculously undisturbed despite several hundred horses riding past.

The black hat captain realises the Crash is trapped in the cave. There is literally no way that Crash can possibly escape so, realising there are still four and a half chapters to go, he orders all but three of his soldiers return to the tower. Those brave three that remain run into the cave and will be roundly beaten for their troubles. But only one will be stripped nekkid to enable Crash to dress as a black hat for the nine hundredth time.

Crash, not having realised he was rushing into a dead end, finds his way blocked. What, does he think he’s going to bend solid metal bars?

Well what do you know?

If you thought that was showing off, he also bends the bars back into place so the black hats can’t follow him.

These wimps have no chance.

Meanwhile, Khan and the professor are watching the upper world on tele-vision. Khan cackles at the horrors he will unleash when he gets there.

Khan orders the lackey to order the Volkites to start some earthquake machinery. It glows and crackles and sparks as the upper world crumbles beneath the might of Unga Khan.

A guard gives Khan the news that Billy has reached the Sacred City with the priming powder. Khan all but concedes the game when the professor announces he can make more priming powder. Khan gets cross and asks why he has not already done so. He bundles Norton out of the room before the old man gets a chance to answer the question.

Norton is escorted to his laboratory and while en route we see that Crash has not rested on his bar-bending laurels.

Oh look – manly grappling.

The fighting was, apparently, just for fun as Crash doesn’t strip him nekkid and pinch his clothes. Instead he releases a horse and all the black hats run after it like fools.

Crash finds his way into Norton’s lab and is greeted with a friendly "Who are you?".

Norton kindly explains that he has finished building the motors and is now making the priming powder. "Is this your equipment?" asks Crash. "Yes" replies the professor so Crash smashes it to pieces.

Amazingly, all that noise attracts the attention of the black hats. They burst into the lab – three try to fight Crash while one attempts to hump him.

Lots of hilarious grappling follows.

But nasty old brainwashed Professor Norton knows which side of his bed is buttered and he slugs Crash with a spanner.

Lo! It’s the two comedy characters. They’ve got a plan to escape when one hides and the other tricks the guard into standing in the right place and being hit on the head when the magic words are said. Oh but my sides did ache when it all went wrong – the guard moved, the parrot said the magic words and this man took a bump on the head and was knocked cold.

Crash is brought before Unga Khan and, with a firm, determined expression, he refuses to help Khan recover the priming powder. Khan vows he will get the powder and orders Crash be taken to the Sacred City. But how, you ask, will that help?

Yes – they’ve nailed Crash to the front of the Juggernaut.

The man inside the Juggernaut gives Crash an ultimatum – either he orders his friends to hand over the powder or he’ll ram trough the gates with Crash on his bonnet.

The Juggernaut feebly bumps into the gate. "Have you changed your mind?" asks the black hat. Surprisingly the answer is no.

The Juggernaut reverses a little and smashes right through the gates of the Sacred City.

You don’t need to take my word for it – this is clearly the last we will ever see of Crash Corrigan and they know it.