1984 in wacky Walton-on-Thames

Giant Haystacks and "Fit" Finlay - the colossal Haystacks and the fighting Irishman. Giant Haystacks was still just about mobile in 1984 and cut a semi-impressive figure as the near-seven foot giant. But the reality was that he could hardly do anything in the ring and was only able to look athletic when in with an even worse opponent. Fit Finaly on the other hand was quite breathtakingly good. He looked totally out of place in a match where the next smallest man was 25 stone but, given the task of being the only good worker out of the four, he succeeds in making the bout watchable. He is of course the same Finlay that now wrestles for WWE and will surely go down as one of the very best British wrestlers of all time.

Big Daddy and Drew MacDonald - Drew MacDonald was a big man (who looked small next to Daddy). He was given the patriotic rub by having him announced as a former Scots guardsman. Usually, Big Daddy was paired with a much smaller man so the little guy could get beaten up and Daddy could make the heroic save. Drew MacDonald was a long way from being a little man so the bout had a strange dynamic.

Finlay was working for four and dutifully bounced his way around the ring for Big Daddy. They did a few brief spots with Haystacks vs Daddy (including a hilarious spot where Big Daddy has to run against the ropes and run back again) because that was what the people wanted. Haystacks got a pin on MacDonald with a big splash after seven minutes. It took nearly as long for him to get back to his feet. The end came when Daddy tossed Haystacks over the top rope and then back-dropped Finlay. The wounded Irishman rolled to the outside and was counted out. The ring announcer then inexplicably declared Daddy and MacDonald the winners because both Haystacks and Finlay had been counted out.

Indeed it isn't cricket - it's football. In those days, ITV used the wrestling as a way of getting people to tune in on FA Cup final Saturday. They'd throw out their big ratings draws and hope people would stay on ITV and watch the final itself. It never worked - the wrestling got more viewers than the football because we're British and, given the choice, will always watch the BBC.

With over a hundred stone in the ring it was always going to be a titanic battle. Good ultimately triumphed but it was a pyrrhic victory as they shamelessly changed the rules to let the goodies win.

Good 4-4 Evil

Shown shortly after Colin Baker's popular debut story "The Twin Dilemma", the BBC was hoping that ITV having a really fat man dressed in yellow in a poorly written battle with evil might help erase some of the bad taste they'd created when they had a reasonably fat man dressed in yellow in a poorly written battle with evil.