Our adventure begins with a fierce looking fighter plane swooping about like nobody’s business.

The pilot is told by a heavily accented voice to begin his attack upon Installation Y and so sets about doing just that. Installation Y, which looks like a factory complex in the middle of nowhere, is raised to the ground by the fighter’s missiles. The pilot then goes mental and decides to blow up a passing ship as well.

The pilot is obviously pleased.

We are then told that this is the "EDGE OF IMPACT", a title so exciting that I don’t want to point out that it doesn’t make any practical sense. At a nearby bunker, a beaky nosed comedy Russian tells the pilot that he’s done well and can go home, as a bald fellow nearby looks on through wonky binoculars.

Wait a moment! That isn’t just any old bald fellow! It’s the Hood!

"Hello."

What monstrous experiment is he dabbling in now?

He says that he is beside himself with admiration for the fighter jet, "The most vicious weapon I have ever seen!"

The snazzy parrot he’s talking to has to agree with him, going so far as to say that with the aircraft he can be "Master of the land and sea!" Strangely he doesn’t mention being master of the air, given that that’s where planes are usually to be found making a nuisance of themselves.

But there’s one thorn in this chap’s side that can put pay to his delusions of ruling the world from the safety of a cockpit: "Red Arrow…"

"Red Arrow?" gasps the Hood.

He’s obviously concerned.

Apparently the Red Arrow is another type of fighter plane that is even faster than the unnamed vaguely Russian fighter we’ve already seen. The Russian (who’s called General Bron) wants the Hood to do him a turn, for which he’ll be very generously paid. The Hood is excited at this.

No, he’s not killing him. Apparently his eyes light up when he’s happy, too.

General Bron wants all rivals to be removed and the Hood understands perfectly. It’s not really a difficult concept to understand so I’d be surprised if the Hood required clarification. He’s told that all prototypes of Red Arrow must be destroyed. The first test is to be carried out soon and it must fail. Does the Hood understand? "Perfectly!" I think we’ve found the Hood’s favourite adverb. He’s also quietly confident. "Leave it to me. The Red Arrow is doooooomed."

The action relocates to London Airport. Why – look! It’s Commander Norman!

He’s still as terribly posh and upstanding as he was four episodes ago when he advised the sabotaged Fireflash jet to land and hope for the best. He gives orders over a tannoy, though a quick pan over a seemingly atomised area of the airport makes us believe that everybody’s gone home for the weekend. Apparently the Red Arrow test is about to begin, which surprises me as I’d have thought the testing of a military aircraft would take place at a military airbase as opposed to the main civilian airport in England’s capital. But then I’m just a Classics student and not an airbase commander like Commander Norman, who surely knows best. As if to prove my point, he immediately hands over control of the airport to this smiler:

He’s an American Colonel of some sort, so naturally ignores protocol and calls Norman by his name. The bastard.

The Red Arrow is then revealed:

Yup, that’s what the fuss is about. Also, you might be forgiven for thinking that the little bit of apparatus holding the plane rolls forth from the hanger to position itself for the plane’s launch, but you’d be sorely mistaken. In fact the little platform is completely stationary and the hanger itself is the bit that rolls backwards. Yup, the entire thing. It’s a system so obviously wonderful I can’t think why we don’t use it today. It’d be like getting into your car and having your entire garage jump backwards by fifteen yards.

The pilot is ready to go and gets final instructions from Colonel "Smiler" Casey. Reassuringly, the pilot is very British. Nothing can possibly go wrong.

Meanwhile, a laundry man parks his van.

His voice quickly alerts us to the fact that it’s the Hood in another fiendish disguise. "Yes, this is as good a place as any to watch Red Arrow!" he says. Well, yes, I suppose a dingy car park on the other side of the airport is certainly better than being anywhere near the plane itself. I hope he’s brought his-

Oh, he has.

Red Arrow 1 takes off.

It zips about whilst the men in Central Control wax lyrical about how great it is. Sadly, it’s obvious that there’s a hole cut into the top of the cockpit to allow the puppet’s strings access.

Very quickly, trouble ensues. The pilot can’t keep his airspeed down – it’s increasing all the time! "I can’t hold her! I’m being pulled off course! Gasp! Gasp!" The plane begins to dive. "Cabin pressure dropping!" Well I’m not surprised when you’ve got a whacking great hole in the top of the cockpit.

Central Control calls for the crash tenders!

But, as the Hood watches and chuckles like a very naughty man, the Red Arrow crashes into a different hanger and explodes. It’s actually implied that the pilot is killed to death, which is quite dark for this series.

Everybody is appalled.

The Hood drives away and nobody is any the wiser as to what went wrong.

Later, a newspaper being read by Jeff Tracy informs us that Colonel Casey is to be replaced (though it also calls the Red Arrow a "space ship" so perhaps the news in the year 2065 is just as reliable as it is now). The Tracy clan chat about it over breakfast.

Testing on Red Arrow is to continue, just not supervised by Casey (and "twin rockets" is still "a pretty new field" – bless). Scott remembers that Casey used to be an old astronaut chum of Jeff’s so we can understand if Jeff is a bit upset about the whole business. He suggests it could be sabotage. Gasp!

Meanwhile, the Hood has invited General Bron over for tea.

In the Hood Quarters, General Bron congratulates the Hood’s success at eliminating Red Arrow and shows him his reward: a chest of gems and assorted jewellery. But he shuts the chest just when the Hood tries to grab some and informs him that the job is not yet over. Red Arrow II is to be tested soonish so if the Hood wants his miscellaneous loot he’s going to have to stuff up that plane as well. He agrees to do it.

We return to Tracy Island where we discover that Alan Tracy has been skinning snow leopards in-between episodes.

Brains has picked up something approaching them on the radar, something travelling at quite a speed. He speculates that it could be going to the Island of Moila, wherever that is. If it’s nearby than I hope Moila doesn’t have any inhabitants otherwise there’s a lot of people on Tracy Island’s doorstep who might be wondering why all those Thunderbird craft keep buzzing around the place.

By the way, that robot in the background? That’s Braman. He won’t be introduced for another six episodes. You can bet hilarity will ensue when that time comes.

Jeff is still blathering on about Tim Casey and how much of a character he was. Casey doesn’t know anything about Jeff’s connection to International Rescue, however. Let’s hope he doesn’t pop by for a visit.

Brains tells Jeff that Tim Casey is popping by a visit. Well, no, not really, but there’s a plane approaching the island, so Scott and Virgil suggest they effect "Operation cover-up!" annoyingly saying it simultaneously in a manner that’s meant to be cute. The operation involves switching the portraits over. Again, why bother with them anyway? Do they really need to switch from casual to rescue pictures to help them remember that they’re on a mission?

Jeff’s not initially worried about the plane. He speculates that "It could be another of Tin Tin’s admirers!" This would be a nice continuity link to a previous episode, End of the Road, were the episodes not jumbled up and broadcast in any old order. That particular situation now doesn’t occur for another four episodes. An advance warning: Grandma’s involved.

The plane approaches the base and goes in for a dive. "We’re being attacked!" cries Scott.

The pilot opens the missile bays. Jeff is terrified.

They all fall over and wait for the jet to blow them to bits. A sudden burst of comedy music informs us of a hilarious twist:

Yes, it’s just somebody playing a joke. Ha ha. What a prankster. And it actually is Tim Casey, so I was right all along. He really has come for a visit. Nothing but hijinks can come from this.

It’s now night time and we cut to a British Telecom tower…

… and the Hood is having a slash.

Of course he isn’t! He’s actually affixing some sort of nefarious device to the communications tower. A little spinny thing begins to… spin, and the Hood phones up the two guys at the top of the tower to say that he’s a relief man who’s checked the tower over before an oncoming storm (not David Tennant, a real storm). "Oh fine!" says one of them in a slightly sarcastic voice, "We sure feel a lot safer now." The Hood bids them goodnight and we see that he’s wearing a stylish flasher’s mac.

"Now all I have to do is wait for the next test of Red Arrow…" Camera zooms onto the device and a dramatic sting heralds our first advert break. Yes, we’re only 16 minutes in. I’m sorry, there’s been a lot to cover. Don’t look at me like that.

We return to an episode of Groovy Old Men.

Casey’s worried about the next Red Arrow test and Brains meanders up to them to say that the blueprints show no obvious fault. He reckons the plane was sabotaged by a homing device and he’s rigged up a diversion detector machine to help the next test. "Yeah, well, thanks for your help Brains…" says Casey in an ungrateful voice, before taking the detector anyway and sending it back to the airbase via his pilot (who sounds exactly like Alan Tracy).

Back at the BT tower, the two chaps – who appear to be the two policemen from the last episode – are having a chinwag.

They’re worried about the storm that’s coming up. Fortunately, they had that repairman round to fix everything. Unfortunately, that man was of course the Hood. I know the Hood needs to sabotage Red Arrow II but I’m curious as to why he’s decided to sabotage British Telecom into the bargain. What’s he got against them? Poor Internet dial-up?

Red Arrow II takes off.

It’s very swiftly diverted by what must be the Hood’s homing device – of course, whilst Brains’ detector warns the pilot that he’s being diverted, it doesn’t have any override so that he can do actually anything about it. So instead it crashes into the BT tower.

"There’s a million to one chance we’d get hit!" Indeed. Smirk. Cliffhanger # 2.

We come back to a swaying BT tower.

The guys inside aren’t too happy either.

"The place is going to go over any minute!"

At Airport Control, the Red Arrow pilot informs Commander Norman of the diversion detector readings. "I only hope they’ll accept it as evidence at the enquiry," mumbles Norman, obviously fearing for his job as a result of being in command during several consecutive disasters at a civilian airport.

At the tower, one of the men decides to fix the radio and call International Rescue.

Back at Tracy Island, Tin-Tin is wearing a beachtowel.

Suddenly, the eyes on John Tracy’s portrait start flashing!!! Good Heavens! Are we due a John Tracy cameo at long last?

Actually, no. The scene cuts to the pool for a scene with Casey, and by the time we cut back to the lounge John’s finished his message. Gerry Anderon, you bastard! Let our John speak! LET HIM SPEAK!

Scott informs Jeff of the BT tower disaster and Jeff dispatches Scott, Virgil and Alan to deal with it. He then tells Tin Tin that she’s got to distract Casey so that he doesn’t notice the Thunderbirds taking off. "I don’t care how you do it, so long as he doesn’t see what we’re doing."

Tin Tin looks saucy.

Everybody enters the required Thunderbirds, with launch preparation sequences occurring without any dramatic music in case Casey hears it and gets suspicious. The boys sit around waiting to take off and we then witness Tin-Tin’s plan in all its scandalous glory.

She’s dressed up in a hideous pink costume and coerced Casey into going swimming with her. "We’ve just heard that there’s a water mamba in the area! It’s a rare tropical mammal! You may never get a chance to see one again." Casey doesn’t tell her where to go – nor does he inform Tin Tin that a mamba is actually a tree-dwelling snake – and follows on regardless. Tin Tin gives Jeff the all clear and the Thunderbirds depart to the loud dramatic music which suddenly springs up now that Casey is out of earshot. Scott informs Virgil that he’s contacted the BT tower guys and the storm out there is getting worse – a conventional rescue will be impossible, by the way – and that he feels a bit sorry for them, really.

At the tower, one of the men falls over and hits his head on a desk. Cliffhanger # 3.

During the advert break, Thunderbirds 1 and 2 have reached the tower and come in to land.

Scott tells Virgil that there’s nowhere for him to set up mobile control so he’s going to do everything from Thunderbird 1, the lazy sod. All he ever does is sit at a control desk and now he can’t even be bothered to get that out of the ship. He just doesn’t want to get wet, the big nancy. Instead he sends out the mobile camera to do everything for him.

The bloke who hit his head on the desk is now fine and both men are a bit alarmed by the camera looking at them through the window. Meanwhile, Thunderbird 2’s pod opens to reveal our latest vehicle – a stumpy little tank thing.

We’re reliably told that it’s called a Booster Mortar. All I know for certain is that it doesn’t have any window wipers.

The tower begins to disintegrate as the Mortar gets into position. Virgil stares with envy at the cannon rising.

So, what does it do? Are they going to shoot the tower down to make the end quick and merciful for the two lads? Nothing so dramatic. Instead it fires up a metal casing filled with goodies. A relief pellet, if you will.

The blokes put on the packs found inside whilst Virgil gets impatient down below. "What’s keeping these guys?" he asks. Blimey, calm down. It’d have helped if you’d packaged some instructions with the rescue gear so that they knew what to do with it. Fortunately, they quickly work things out and jetpack to safety.

The tower begins to collapse, causing Virgil to fall over backwards. Finally the structure falls to pieces, which I’d show you a picture of but it’d be too murky to see anything. Scott actually leaves Thunderbird 1 to consol his brothers – they all think the men died in the collapse. "This is the first time International Rescue has failed." The Tracy brothers are saddened.

A few seconds later, however, they spot the two men jetpacking down to safety and cheer up enormously. Hurrah! Then eagle-eyed Virgil spots the Hood’s diversion thingy in the tower wreckage. Brains identifies it over video relay and Jeff tells Virgil to inform the police that the saboteur is probably still in the area of the BT tower. I have no idea why the Hood should be, given that he affixed the device yesterday and we haven’t seen him since. There is no way that he should be anywhere near it.

We cut to the Hood quickly driving away from the tower.

Sigh.

"At last! At last! The Red Arrow is destroyed!" he cries. Um, mate, that happened hours ago. Many hours ago. What have you been doing all this time? You should be out of the country by now!

He drives past some police. A car chase ensues. "What? Police? Narghhh!" the Hood says, amusingly, and puts his foot down, driving through a road block. "They cannot stop me now!"

He radios General Bron to inform him that all is proceeding to plan. He’s being chased by the police but it’s still all proceeding to plan. Then his car plunges off a bridge.

"Narghhh!"

A sorry Hood is chastised by General Bron over the radio. "Not only have you let International Rescue ruin my plan…" which he can’t possibly know about, "… But you have proved that you cannot even drive a car!" Fair point.

Oh that crazy Hood. I hope we see him again soon.

The Tracy brothers return to the Island and swiftly land…

… and in an underwater cave, Tin Tin apologises to Casey for the distinct lack of water mambas before suggesting they go back to the Tracy quarters. Given the time it took for International Rescue to fly to Britain, carry out a rescue, and come back again, I do wonder exactly how long Tin Tin’s kept Casey sitting in a dingy cave.

Back in the lounge, Casey is told how he’s been vindicated due to International Rescue’s handling of the Red Arrow case. He’s delighted and promptly starts insulting the Tracy brothers and telling them to do something with their lives – like the International Rescue boys have done – instead of just sitting around an island all day. Alan drops whacking great hints as to their true identity but fortunately everybody ignores him, the great ‘airy fool. "Well, Tin Tin, things were certainly happening when we were down there swimming!" "They certainly were, Colonel," Tin Tin says, before looking into camera, "They certainly were!" Oh ho! You’ve got some sauce.

Casey leaves the island and everybody waves off the miserable bastard. Ha ha! Ho ho. Happy days. And that’s it.

International Rescue craft used: Thunderbird 1, Thunderbird 2, the Booster Mortar, the mobile camera

Victims: Two men in a British Telecom relay tower. One was called Joe, I think.

Rescued by: Scott, Virgil and Alan

A quietly average episode. It’s a bit simplistic, with silly foreign enemies and people displacing themselves for hours at a time. The rescue itself isn’t one of the best – it’s all over too quickly and the Tracy boys don’t have to stretch themselves too much – though at least Tin Tin gets something to do. It passes the time but the John Tracy cop out is just a tease.

Tune in next week for Day of Disaster. Here's the trailer!