w/e 21st May 2006

The world quite literally rocked on its axis this week, when Paul McCartney, who has more money than there are insects in the whole world, announced the split from his second wife Heather "does a lot for charity, has a wooden leg" Mills. Pop Flix admits to questioning the dubious way Macca got married so quickly again after lovely Linda, but deplores the riot in the papers on Thursday, consisting of a mass sweepstake to estimate what she'll "get". Who cares? The man has eight hundred million quid! She could take him for the annual turnover of a small country and he'd still have enough left such that no human being could possibly spend it quickly enough to notice. Pop Flix is more interested in Macca's next wedding, which based on statistical analysis we estimate to be to Charlotte Church.

Elsewhere Chris Martin has donated HIMSELF to an auction being held by his old primary school. Yes, if you win, he'll come round your house and play one song for you and nine mates. Sounds more like the booby prize to me. He can come and clean the car though. The rub is that you have to own a piano, a request that initially sounds simple until you realise that no sod these days owns one, outside of rich moody rock stars, and they cost hundreds to buy. Can't he just bring his guitar with him? Or bang some saucepan lids together.

Talking of splashing the cash, someone else dipping into his wad this week is Uri "what exactly is he famous for?" Geller. He's an odd fish isn't he. You constantly expect him to turn out to be a big joke, but he isn't. Uri has bought Elvis' old house for $500,000, although why he's done this we're not sure. No, not Graceland, some other shack The King kipped down in for a bit before moving to his most famous residence. Perhaps Uri was browsing Ebay and thought "why not?". "I'm still stunned, astonished that I, Uri Geller, an Israeli, owns Elvis Presley's home," he said earlier in the week. Fancy it! Him! An Israeli to boot. We're stunned.

A couple of former Britpop monkey's were up to their old tricks this week too. Damon Albarn's latest Rant of The Week is on the subject of God-like charity-raising rock stars. Stating that he didn't want to name anyone specifically, Albarn then went on to name specifically Bono, Sir Bob Geldof and Thom Yorke for his vitriol. "If you're so interested and care about Africa, think about the people, see them as a neighbour." he implored Bob and Bon. Yes, quite. What help are all those millions of pounds of money when you could be popping over with a friendly word and a cup of sugar? Damon, who has a bloody solo album round the corner, noted that "bands who care about certain things and then go on one-and-a- half-year stadium tours are just total hypocrites". Because touring an album and caring about something are just SO contradictory right?

Meanwhile Noel Gallagher has pulled yet more material, claiming the band are off on a year-long hiatus. Pop Flix simply shrugs. Doesn't every band go away for a year after finishing promotion on an album? It's true we were due some kind of EP but, hey, this sort of thing is par for the course if you're a fan of Oasis. Who remembers the album with Death In Vegas and that song about clocks that was always just about to be released?

Finally, check out the splendour of the Eurovision Song Contest this weekend, if only for the UK entry which defies belief. Best of luck and all, but all we can say is it all must operate on a higher plane of understanding, as we can't see how a 40 year old bloke rapping over a load of women dressed as schoolgirls is going to win! Nor any occasion when a teacher has asked what we learned at school. I mean, they should know already shouldn't they?

Pity the Sampson! B*Witchya soon!