w/e 6th May 2006

It's been an odd week on Planet Pop for sure and no mistake. Will Young is our favourite artist of all time, Bob Dylan became a DJ and Keith Richards fell out a coconut tree.

Initials reports suggested that Richards would require brain surgery, have to have a drill bored through his skull, and would never wear beads again. This has now been modified by his spokesman to reveal that he is, in fact, a bit hurt. Pop Flix has no doubt that the man is indestructible and would still be "tuuuuuring" with Jagger, Ronnie Wood and the other one if he'd been flattened by a paddle steamer. But the question that should surely needs to be asked is... what the frick was he doing up a coconut tree in the first place?

Okay, now Gorillaz. Can somebody please stand on a box and announce that the joke has gone on long enough. Although we've never really felt inclined to roll about on the floor in mirth at the sheer hilarity of creating a cartoon group and, like, playing behind a big curtain, we suppose a virtual group was a pretty neat idea. However, now we find the wretches (in fact just Damon Albarn and that other chap) are penning the first Gorillaz Autobiography. They may be just like any other group in concept, even having played the tedious "this album'll be our last" card, but what is the point? Someone pretending to be called Murdoc said: "I tell you what, right, I can guarantee you're going to get some real juicy bits of Gorillaz info. I'll probably slag off loads of people, too." Oh grow up! And, kids, it may be a neat joke, but who do you think they are laughing at?

Elsewhere Johnny Cash, who nobody really gave a fillet o'fish about when he was alive, continues to churn out product with the imminent release of the fifth album in something called "The American Series". We don't know what this concept is, but the fact there are five of them doesn't bode well, and the word "America" rings Rod Stewart-esque bells of alarm and makes us suspect some kind of dull covers project. And just when is Cash supposed to have recorded this "brand new" album? There was no word of it before he departed this mortal plain. The clue comes from producer and ex-friend of Melanie C, Rick Rubin, who has a really cool name. Rubin claims this album "contains two new songs". Say what? Just the two? Do we think that this isn't really a "new" album at all, and that in fact he just coughed over a few chords one day and someone has padded it out with a few forgotten old tracks that, let's face it, they could tell everyone are new and no-one would be any the wiser. On the album, Cash covers Bruce Springsteen (he's like death), Gordon Litefoot (presumably not the one from "Talons of Weng Chiang") and Hank Williams. It's never S-Club and Belinda Carlisle is it?

Disaster almost hit Popworld this week, when a karting incident threatened to cause merry bloody havoc across Wales. The kart, helmed by former classic pianist, former Hearsay singer and former CD:UK presenter Myleene Klass, "ploughed into a barrier" at a celebrity karting race. Is there anything this woman isn't "former" at? She might be a former man. My Len maybe. Klass, who was racing round Cardiff with fellow celebrities "comedy" rapper Maggot and sprinter Darren Campbell, was rushed to hospital with suspected knee-grazing. "She's on a brace and crutches," explained a paramedic urgently. "But we'll be examining her in the ambulance". I'm sure. This sort of thing really should be outlawed - who knows what damage could have been done. All our celebrities could have been wiped out if Klass had ploughed her cart through them, creating a scene of bloody mayhem. Then where would we be? Ex-celebrity Boyzone Racing Driver and Comedy Rapper Concert Pianist Shayne Lynch was on hand to also comment. "It's like a car park out there; there's carnage everywhere" he said. We'd like to know what car parks he visits - presumably Asda when there is a brawl for the BOGOF turkey twizzlers.

So we leave you today safe in the knowledge that the UK's all-time favourite British Act of All Time Ever is not Queen, or The Beatles, or The Who. It's Will Young. Nice to know a jaunty hat and lots of lovely ballads beats all those number one's the Queen boys spent twenty years writing eh?

Take care, have a good weekend, and watch out for Klass. There could be carnage. B*Witchya soon!