"Modern Men"

27th December 1996

This was the second of three hour-long episodes making up a trilogy which was to form the last ever episodes of the series. When released on DVD, the three discs came in a lurid yellow Trotter van-coloured card box.

Rodney and Cassandra are opposed to the fir trade and Cassandra reads "Mother and Baby Magazine". Tyler is seven and can "almost write his own name"!! [his first appearance was in "Jolly Boys Outing" in 1989, so this episode is set the same year it was screened, though Cassandra is "seven months" pregnant suggesting some months have passed since the last episode].

Del once again says the lads attended "Dockside Secondary Modern" (see "Class of '62" where he also states it was later renamed "The Martin Luther King Comprehensive School") and Trigger was Head Boy! He had an accident bumping into a "Mind Your Head" sign and his family sued the local authority. Albert spent some time in India during the war.

Mickey Pearce has been on the dole a long time, but now has a new job as a Double Glazing Salesman (it seems to involve solar panels too). His firm are suing "Panorama". Mike's surname is "Fisher".

Rodney is apparently "34" - and the rest! This would make him 19 in "Big Brother", when it is previously stated he was 23!! He was a fast grower as a child. Cassandra miscarries her baby in this episode (see "Classic Scenes").

The classic "turn your hands over" bet - Del bets Mike for a round of drinks that he can "make you turn your hands over without touching you". Mike agrees, and puts his hands out. "Nah, the other way," says Del, making off with the drinks as Mike complies... the joke is allotted two further takes later in the episode, and gets funnier each time.

The most stunning scene in this episode concerns Cassandra's miscarriage. A tour-de-force of sensitive writing, Sullivan somehow achieves the impossible and makes a tragic event funny without being distasteful. The audience is brought down by Del's thoughtful advice to Rodney on how to handle his distraught wife - they are then hit with the gag of Del being the one to fall to pieces. Being literally reeled along by the script, the viewer is then reduced to tears of the opposite kind by some of the most poignant writing in the entire series.

"I lost our baby."
"I can't leave you alone for a second can I? We're going to get over this, Cass. We are going to win. And you know why? Cos we're strong. We are very, very strong. Things are going to get better and better and better for us."
"I love you Rodney."
"I love you too Cass. I love you so much."

And somehow, this isn't even the best bit of the episode. Certainly the most satisfying scene in the series comes right at the end, when Del lands a punch on a character Sullivan has built up to be the epitome of an ignorant layabout. He's a bit Harry Enfield ("Yaooowww!") it's true, but when he's put in his place you just want to punch the air with joy - and is this minutes after seeing a lead character at her lowest ebb. It's incredible writing.

Jason's over-the-top Welsh accent and unfunny pseudonym - "Ivor Hardy". Why does Rodney order a round of drinks just seconds after Del has brought his to the table? Two minutes later, Del orders yet another round! It's funny, but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense...

The sequences with the vasectomy is very much padding.

James Bond (and Piers Brosnan), Lily Savage and Ian Beale are variously mentioned (more loving intertextuality with "Eastenders"; see "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" and "Royal Flush")

Plenty in this episode - we glimpse Mont Chernobyl champagne (which doesn't go pop!) and Del is trying to flog volumising hairdryers that retail for "£69.99p up in Regent Street" - in reality, they're paint strippers, as poor Mike discovers!

But the episode's main bit of dodgy gear are the riding helmets sprayed red (see "Heroes and Villains") aka Trotters Crash Turbans! Oh, and not forgetting the "use by June 1983" paint Del has sold Dr Singh...

Del only orders a Harvey Wallbanger for himself in this episode - quite restrained, by his standards.

Raquel's sparkly black charity shop dress. Marlene is briefly glimpsed at with a rainbow-patterned garment. Del's bright green silk pyjamas.

We haven't had one of these for a while, but apparently she said "Del Boy... never stop believing". Rodney thinks she might then have quoted Captain Sensible's "Happy Talk" song...

Monkey Harris is mentioned (see various other episodes).

The toast to Cassandra and Rodney ends with the lone voice of Trigger - "... and Dave"!

Rodney: "There are people on Death Row with more motivation than me!"

"To Del, market penetration means sex under a barrow!"

"I don't believe this... the one job in the paper I really fancied... and it's mine!"

He also reminisces about when he and Del started out - "It was years ago. We had a labour government, you could eat beef... Des O'Connor was white!"

I've always been very fond of "Modern Men", if only for the ending, a skilful puppet-like working of the viewers emotions. The rest of the episode is rather lacking in incident and doesn't really go anywhere - yet this is a funny and witty enough hour of comedy to stand proudly alongside its two superb neighbours in the '96 trilogy.