"Rodney Come Home"

25th December 1990

This whole episode is about the boys relationships with their partners: Del is attempting to persuade Raquel to "move in" to his bedroom ("but she’s been here over a fortnight!" says an amazed Rodney), while Rodney and Cassandra are finding married life difficult.

Rodney and Cassandra seem from this episode to be almost entirely incompatible: Cassandra doesn’t think that she has to be a traditional wife to Rodney, while he expects her to cook for him every night. She is committed to her work, often socialising with "the bank" in the evenings, whereas he isn’t interested in doing anything other than staying in.

Del claims he no longer deals in "hookey" gear since meeting Raquel, but he does still trade unlicensed. "Many moons ago" a magistrate banned all the councils in London from issuing him with a traders license. In this episode he sells dolls who speak in speeded-up fashion.

The script names the shopping centre where Del fly pitches as the "Arndale Centre". Rodney has a secretary called Michelle at the printing firm. Raquel has completed her tour of America in "My Fair Lady" (see "Jolly Boys Outing").

Rodney and Cassandra have had numerous rows and Albert states Rodney has left "for good" three times in the past 18 months. A short while ago, Mickey Pearce and Jevon visited Rodney at Cassandra’s flat "with their girlfriends". Both attended "Dockside Junior School". Rodney remembers Joannie simply as "a blond lady".

Tanya, whom Rodney asks to the cinema, works at the Peckham Exhaust Centre.

Cassandra’s birthday is just before Christmas [it was a few weeks before this episode which, while not Christmassy, includes Del talking about being "festive"].

"True" by Spandeu Ballet and contemporary hits "Fascinating Rhythm" by Bass-O-Matic (aka later Madonna collaborator William Orbit) and "This Is The Right Time" by Lisa Stansfield play in the club. Jive Bunny are also mentioned. Chris appears to be a friend of Rodney and Mickey’s and is a ladies hairstylist. Raquel is frightened of the dark.

Cassandra is going to evening school (it’s implied this is to do with her work, and not the same adult education class where she first met Rodney) and has final exams in three weeks.

Did Raquel mean to say "roast chicken, jacket potatoes, all the trimmings"? It seems odd it wasn’t roast potatoes. Chris (in the club) is obviously a transparent stand-in for the missing character of Jevon – he comes over as a more fey version of him. How did Rodney take the van down to the exhaust centre before getting dressed?

The best scene is the one in the flat where Del and Albert try to warn Rodney away from Tanya, while inadvertently persuading Raquel that Del is a sexist pig. In particular, Albert’s three attempts at timing his "shocked reaction" to Rodney’s impending date are a joy.

Cassandra and Rodney have matching fringes, but hers is worse. The girls at the disco both have big eighties hair.

"What did she do tonight, tread on your Scalextric?"

"There wouldn’t be room in the van for both Tanya and Cassandra" (Albert mistakes Del’s plea that Rodney take Cassandra to the cinema instead of Tanya).

And not many others.

The closing credits play out to a mellow number by Joan Armatrading. Bet it brightened up Christmas Day at the time.

"Anything’s better than sleeping next to a cold pair of shoulders."

Possibly the least outright funny episode of the entire series, which is all the more astounding when you remember it was a Christmas special: this is far from festive. Looking back, Cassandra and Rodney’s relationship is remembered as one long bout of rowing and trauma, and this episode is largely to blame.

Part of the problem is Gwyneth Strong, who simply isn’t anywhere near as good as the material demands. When her and Rodney row, she is whiny and unconvincing, but this pales into comparison with the astonishingly bad scene where she is required to cry and stamp her feet. It must rank as some of the worst acting to have ever been seen on prime time, never mind on Christmas Day.

It isn’t all bad; there are some very mature concepts here, and the series is perhaps delving deeper dramatically than ever before. Yet there is far too much yelling and shouting, and watching it feels more akin to attending therapy than anything more enjoyable. Relentlessly grim, not that funny and really quite depressing.