"It’s Only Rock and Roll"

14th March 1985

An episode full of it – Del signs up Rodney’s new band in order to offload some old suits. He’s also trying to sell some faulty talking dolls ("Kandy Doll – Your Talking Friend" is Taiwan’s finest. At one point one of them says "exterminate!").

Del’s grey suit and bright white tie. Rodney and the rest of the band’s white suits (Del has them left over from 1975). Rodney wears eye-liner for the second half of this episode, as if auditioning for "Planet of Fire". Del’s garage is full of junk, including an old skeleton and a box marked "FOR EXPORT"!

Rodney’s joined a band, led by "Mental" Mickey MacGuire, who once bit part of someone’s ear off. Del books them at "The Shamrock Club, Depford", but after it all goes wrong and Rodney is booted out, the boys make "Top of the Pops" under the auspicious group name "a bunch of wally’s"

Uncle Albert now appears to be staying in the bedroom leading onto the sitting room (which means Grandad’s old room and at least one other room are situated through the other door). We see what is presumably supposed to be the Trotter’s garage or lock-up. Rodney smokes. The family know of and watch "Top of the Pops".

Uncle Albert’s family (he’s had a few, so it’s not clear which) used to tell stories about Del’s dodgy business activities. Uncle Albert is partial to Del’s brandy.

"It’s not fair."
"Neither is Frank Bruno’s arse, but you don’t go on about it!"

"Money ain’t everything."
"Nah, but it certainly takes the sting out of being poor."

And see below…

The return of this series staple. In this episode, Del claims that Mum said to him on her deathbed: "Del, please give little Rodney all the encouragement you can. Never, ever hold him back."

Interestingly, Rodney notes that she "can’t have stopped wittering" in her final moments, revealing that the previous week when it was time to go down the chip shop, Del claimed she said in her final moments "Send Rodney for the fish"! But in fact this is only the second time this soon-to-be regular gag has been used. The first was in "The Yellow Peril" back in Series 2.

Del’s homophobic warning to Rodney about the entertainment business: they’re all "Stoke on Trent" (bent) so he should watch his "deaf and dumb" (bum). It remains a rare example of a direct anal sex reference in "Only Fools and Horses".

Del talks to "Monk" on the telephone about the dolls. It’s almost certainly the great "Monkey Harris", referred to in many, many other episodes but never seen.

Del secures a booking for Rodney’s band at the Shamrock Club with a clever ruse which involves a gramophone player, a carefully-timed slamming door and a Bachelors record.

Rodney goes into Uncle Albert’s room to spring a joke on him involving a set-up date at the "pensioner’s beeno". Albert storms out mere seconds later knowing all about it!

Del tells Monkey Harris he’s had the dolls for "a week". Which means it’s taken only seven days for the band to play the Shamrock club, ditch Rodney, get signed, release a record and appear on "Top of the Pops"!

Mike Read appears in this episode, presenting the episode of "Top of the Pops" that the band appear on. In recent years the DJ was shocked to see himself on a repeat of this episode, having completely forgotten about his one-time cameo appearance.

If this were any other sitcom, this would be a great episode, but after the emotional depth of the opening three instalments in this series, it comes as something of a disappointment. Rodney is again the centre of a storyline suited to a fifteen year old, and it’s dreadfully cheap too (we don’t even see inside the Shamrock Club). Destined to be largely forgotten in the wake of other, far more accomplished episodes from the time.