Kim Smith was born in Chiswick in 1960. She was pop's Jesus in a way, being the result of sexual dalliance between rock star Marty Wilde and a Vernon Girl. She lived in Hertfordshire as a girl (the county of Champions), even attending a college in St Albans, quite near where I work. In 1980 she was signed to RAK Records and released "Kids in America" the following year, reaching number 2 in the UK charts. Kim Smith, or Kim Wilde as she liked to tout herself, had arrived.

Her debut album "Kim Wilde" was a Top 3 smash in the UK, and spawned popular hits like "Chequered Love", "Water On Glass", a song about hearing water in your head, or something) and "Wendy Said". She quickly followed it up with the "Select" album, which included "Cambodia" and "View From A Bridge". Most of these hits were penned by Dad Marty and brother Ricki. A third album "Catch As Catch Can" was slightly less successful, with the lack of any actual hits.

Kim left RAK and released her fourth album "Teases & Dares", containing two self-penned ditties. Alas, although the album was big in Germany (she was the Melanie C of her era) it flopped like old manboobs over here. It failure was blamed on Kim looking too sexy on the sleeve, which people didn't like because she was previously reassuringly unsexy. Kim pledged to be more ordinary looking for her next vinyl recording release.

Unexpectedly, Kim had grown massive in France, not due to overindulgence in local cuisine, but because she was known as "The Bridgette Bardot of Rock" (after an elderly homophobic French film star). She appeared in the video for "Nights Without Kim Wilde" by Laurent Voulzy. She also recorded a single with fat comedian Mel Smith, "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree", which is still played in Argos to this day.

These being the days when people would still let you make more albums if the public had stopped liking you, Kim wheeled out even more self-penned numbers for her next album. Luckily, there was a also a cover of The Supremes "You Keep Me Hangin' On", a song later also sung by Dame Sinitta Renate Malone, and this sped to Number 1 in America. The video for the title track was banned, as it featured a bed and some pearls. These being more prudish days - it's not like they were anal pleasure beads or anything (as far as we know, anyway).

Thankfully for Kim and her song writing family, Kim's next album "Close" was something of a commercial triumph and, indeed, is well remembered by me, its many hits having been hugging the Top 40 around the time I was venturing into my early teens, a time for many personal firsts. Among the treats are "You Came", not another song that needed to be banned in fact, but an up-tempo pop number later covered by lost pop star Daz, and "Four Letter Word", which clung to the Christmas charts in 1988 like a limpet. It's a bit confusing exactly what the four letter word is, incidentally, although happy Kim was certainly not using any rude ones when "Close" shifted two million "units" (as they say in the industry). She promptly wrapped her legs round her head and flew off to support Michael Jackson on his "Bad" Tour. While there, she whispered in the ear of a young singer called Sheryl Suzanne Crow. "Be a pop star!" she hissed. "Sell millions of records in the nineties, then turn not-very-good". Crow gulped down a peanut and obliged.

Kim's downfall was in making lots of albums with two word titles with the word "Love" in, which the public refused to buy on principle. "Love Moves" (the title track being about rumpo in the fast lane of a motorway) yielded no hit singles, even with Jaki Graham on board. Likewise "Love Is" a couple of years later deployed hit maker Rick Nowells (he's had a few) and a Spice Girls cover "Who Do You Think You Are", but wasn't a big seller. There was one huge hit (provided by Nowels, natch) called "Love Is Holy". When Kim first heard it in the studio, she is said to have had a wild shouting fit and exploded through the roof like a rocket, such was the quality of the song. It duly hit Number 16 in the charts.

Kim then decided to make her "boring album" - "Now & Forever". Despite not being called "Love Winks" or something, With its white sleeve it looks cheap and unofficial, and is full of horrid r'n'b and soul. Even fans told her she stunk in this era. "This I Swear", an unpopular song with all, stalled at Number 46 in the charts and Kim quickly decided to become a gardener instead of a top pop siren.

In 1998 she made an unreleased album, which is vaults-bound thanks to an argument with a collaborator. She mentions it occasionally, just to be mysterious.

In 2005, she released "Gardening With Children", not a controversial tome about burying youngsters in compost, but in actual fact an attempt to engage them in horticulture. Meanwhile, she marked time in her music career by squeezing into leathers and joining Kajagagoogoo and Bucks Fizz on the "Here & Now" eighties revival bandwagon. She had a surprise hit in Belgium with "Loved" (obviously not learning a thing from the early nineties, bit even still) and in 2003 Dame Success invited her back into its sweaty armpit as a duet with fellow lost eighties pop star Nena was big somewhere. A new album was surely on the cards, and in 2006 Kim did indeed buy some exact cards, lay them out and play Patience with them. And the suit was in her favour.

"You Came 2006" was the first fruits of the new project, and was quite big in Germany. Wisely, Kim avoided the mean old UK but the album "Never Say Never" charted well in Europe, and the second single was "Perfect Girl", voted for by the fans. A happy ending! Hurrah!

She's currently touring Germany.

After the success of the Rick Astley column (well, I liked it) I now present a guide to Kim Wilde compilations. For there are many.

The Very Best Of Kim Wilde

Title: Simple, but effective. 4/5

Cover: Kylie-esque. You really shouldn't sit so close to a light bulb, love 3/5

Tracklisting: Comprehensive for the casual fan. We have tracks from both the early years ("Kids", "Cambodia" etc.), and also three of the "Close" singles. And "Loved". Points removed for two versions of "View from a Bridge" though. 4/5

The Collection

Title: Rubbish. What does it mean? Anything's a collection if there's more than one of it, therefore all this tells us is there's more than one track. Even a single has more than one track on it you know. 1/5

Cover: Madonna-esque ("Something to Remember" era). Actually that might actually BE Madonna. Cheap old typeface too. 2/5

Tracklisting: Hmmm. All five "Close" singles and a couple of lost tracks ("Second Time" and "This I Swear") suggest a lot's missing. Not bad overall, but no "You Keep Me Hangin' On", is there? 4/5

The Hits Collection

Title: A lie. "Shane" is on there, but nothing post-1988. If you're going to release early tracks, why not just be honest and call it "The Early Hits Collection". Or "The Non-Hits Collection" 1/5

Cover: Like a police mug shot. And there are no spaces between the words in the title. Was Kim's typewriter broken? 1/5

Tracklisting: See above. Lots of lost early tracks, and not many hits. I'm going to give it a few marks because I dare say if you were a fan it was good to get lost stuff not on CD. 2/5

The Best Of Kim Wilde

Title: Textbook! 3/5

Cover: Eighties-tastic! Great use of pink and green colours. She does look a bit like an evil cleaning lady though 3/5

Tracklisting: Another swizz. "Chaos at the Airport" and "Wendy Said" are here, but nothing later than 1987 is. I suspect some early albums glued together. 3/5

The Singles 1981 - 1993

Title: Clunky, but to the point 4/5

Cover: Wicked. Artistic, considered, chic. 5/5

Tracklisting: Near enough spot on. Again, it's very much a casual fans purchase (though no "It's Here" or "Who Do You Think You Are") but you'd have to be fussy to be disappointed if this got put on at a social occasion 4/5

Original Gold

Title: Always be dubious about albums called things like "Platinum Hits" or "Pressed Gold Minted Classics" - there's probably a reason why they are trying so hard to sound essential. And albums listing "Child Come Away" as a highlight on the cover. 2/5

Cover: She looks like a gorilla. And that typeface - black on black wasn't somebody's brightest ever idea. 1/5

Tracklisting: The listing I've got shows 2 discs, but all the same songs. Shit, thank God "House of Salome" is on there though! Rather hitless. 2/5

Premium Gold Collection

Oh piss off!

www.kimwilde.com

Oddly, the website is only available in English or Dutch.

Kim today - went down a storm in the 'dress like a pensioner' competition