Richard Paul Astley was born unto a virgin in February 1966, making him a frightening forty one in today's modern times. In 1985, he was spotted with his band FBI (L-l-l-ost!) by Pop Mogul and Karp King Pete Waterman. Waterman needed a new tea-boy for PWL, and started Rick off at his bottom. There is a lost, possible pre-fame single called "When You Gonna", by Rick & Lisa, but who Lisa is remains a mystery to this day. Anyway, the next minute Rick was a pop phenomenon. Boys imitated his odd swaying-hands dancing and girls dreamed of devouring his nethers. It was 1987, and the Age of Rick had begun.

FBI - see if you can spot Rick.

Debut single "Never Gonna Give You Up" was released in 1987, and spent five weeks at Number One. Before they saw Rick, many stupid people assumed he was black. By March 1988, both "Give You Up" (as he probably called it) and "Together Forever" were American Number Ones. These hits proved so popular with a young Si Hunt that he copied the album off someone.

Said disc, "Whenever You Need Somebody" was a US Number 2 and a UK chart-topper, but contained pretty much standard PWL Fare. In Blighty, Rick scored more Top 10 hits with "Whenever You Need Somebody" and "When I Fall In Love", a dull Nat King Cole cover which was luckily double-sided with the fab "My Arms Keep Missing You" in which Uncle Peter skilfully rhymed "missing you" with "kissing you". Oddly America got "It Would Take A Strong Man" as well, and it reached the Billboard Top 10. It may be a lost classic, we shall have to check yes we shall have to check.

A hit album. YES. TER. DAY.

In 1988, Uncle Waterman wanted to launch a young Australian soap star on the unsuspecting record-buying public - however, it was discovered she couldn't sing for toffee. Waterman subsequently released a speeded up version of an Astley off-cut, entitled "I Should Be So Lucky" and it sped to Number One. For subsequent releases, it was thought someone might decipher the ruse, and the Aussie star was instead overdubbed with vocals from unpopular SAW star Hazell Dean. This is all completely true.


The alternative face of Rick?

Apparently there was a fire in the PWL studios which destroyed Rick's second album material - this is new information! What else went to the flames? A lost Hazell Dean album? Kakko early demos? We may never know.

When it emerged, the second Rick album "Hold Me In Your Arms" spawned, if anything, even better singles than it's predecessor. The great "She Wants To Dance With Me" was a Number One in Canada, and "Take Me To Your Heart" and the title track are lost greats. America also got "Ain't Too Proud to Beg", the lucky devils.

The "Free" album - at this stage in his career, Rick couldn't afford ink for more than two colours on his album sleeves

Rick parted company with SAW, perhaps believing himself better than cheapo pop dance tracks and naff videos and number one singles, and went off to write with people from Climie Fisher and Level 42 instead. The "Free" album (when do you ever see copies of that laying around?) was a bit of a flop, though "Cry For Help" (Astley's last UK Top 10 hit) is well remembered, and featured the gospel choir from Madonna's "Like A Prayer" dontchaknow. It cemented a feat of being the first male solo singer to score an opening break of eight Top 10 hits, a record which still stands.

In 1993 "Body & Soul" missed the UK charts altogether, and scraped a miserable #183 in the US. Single "Hopelessly" was a hit on the Adult Contemporary Chart, and "The Ones You Love" topped the French Children's Contemporary Piano Ballads Chart for nine weeks. It's interesting that, to whatever degree, Astley seems to have always been more popular in America than here. It's a good story.

With "Body & Soul" dying, Rick retired from music FOREVER and got a wife. OR SO WE ALL THOUGHT.

Rick and glamourpuss wife

In 2001, Rick met and made love to Doctor Who star Nick Courtney

Rick returned in 2002 with the "Keep It Turned On" album - and got Todd Terry to remix up-tempo ballad "Sleeping" as a single. Canny.

A lost hit (in Germany). "Sleeping" record buying public not pictured.

In 2005, he released "Portrait" and a collection of (Huuuuunngggghhh!) standards. At least it didn't include Mack the Bloody Knife.

In 2006, Astley was lined up for a spot on "Just The Two Of Us", in which classy professional singers show up caterwauling celebrity non-singers for the amusement of the public. This drew criticism from folk who didn't know that Astley's wife had been nominated for an Academy Award (for "Best Short Film", natch). Astley would have missed part of the show as he had to go to the Awards Ceremony. But hang on... surely that would have just taken a few hours? And surely she wouldn't have minded. Six part prime time BBC1 TV show or a night watching dull people collect awards. Sounds like nothing but AN EXCUSE to me.

"Portrait" - The British Public demanded old-timer covers. Rick was happy to oblige. The git.

In 2007, the Internet craze of "Rickrolling" began to take off. It's like "duckrolling", in which Internet users are duped into linking to a certain site or image. Apparently you can now be "rickrolled" into accidentally viewing the "Never Gonna Give You Up" video on Youtube where previously you wanted to watch something good. Bizarre.

He's a man with a million Best Ofs! Si Hunt's Lost Jukebox will now rank them all for your sexual pleasure:

Title: "Artist Collection". Is that a title? Or a factory catalogue description? Shit. 1/5

Cover: Obviously unspeakable. 0/5

Track Selection: Unknown - it's now out of print. So you can never own that lovely cover.

Title: "Never Gonna Give You Up - The Best Of Rick Astley". Cumbersome. What was wrong with "Cry For Help - The Best Of Rick Astley"? That would have caused some amusement in Woolworths at least. 3.5/5

Cover: Hunky and blue. 4/5

Track Selection: No "Together Forever". Or "My Arms Keep Missing You". Or "When I Fall In Love". Or "She Wants To Dance With Me". Sob. 1/5

Title: "Together Forever - The Best Of Rick Astley". That's Better. 5/5

Cover: I actually would. And an extra point for using the Kirsty post-death years font. 4/5

Track Selection: 38 Tracks, 2 discs and STILL no "My Arms Keep Missing You"! What's wrong with these people! It's not like he had as many hits as Cliff! Write them all down so you don't forget one when compiling the CD! 3/5

Title: "The Gold and Platinum Collection". A bit overly grand. How can you be both Gold AND Platinum? 3/5

Cover: Simple, but good. And, lest we be cynical, ink-saving. 3/5

Track Selection: 12 tracks is a bit tight for a Greatest Hits, especially when you haven't heard of three of them. No bloody "Take Me To Your Heart", and "Together Forever" is the Lovers Leap Remix.

Title: Fair enough. It's a chance to air some of Rick's more tender numbers. 2/5

Cover: An air of cheapness, but dignified enough. Photo makes you want to give him a hug and feed him iron supplements. 3/5

Track Selection: "Take Me To Your Heart" and "Never Gonna Give You Up" aren't exactly romantic smoochers are they? And I'll reserve judgement, but I'd wager neither is the "Where's Harry Remix" of "My Arms Keep Missing You". However, "When I Fall In Love" makes the cut! Thank God!

Title: "Greatest Hits". What it says on the tin. 3/5

Cover: A horrid poo-brown, but by no means an artistic crime. 3/5

Track Selection: Hurrah! Everything's here! And only 16 tracks! The clear winner! 5/5

At least we've forgotten all about that hideous cover on the first one by now eh?

Ruddy hell, there's a DVD version! And it only contains five tracks! Hurrrrrrraaaaahhhhh!!!

www.rickastley.co.uk

There's a review of every track he's ever released, including mixes. Go there for a critical appraisal of the Tee's Radio Edit of "Sleeping". No, really.

Rick, today. Still a nice young man.