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B*witched
In the mid to late nineties, the Spice Girls re-invented the girl group concept (and made it good). In the slipstream of their success came a glut of variations, from the sassy All Saints to the likes of N-Tyce, the Honeyz and Banana Sunset. B*Witched also latched onto the then-current popularity of Irish boyband Boyzone. Twins Keavy Lynch and Dame Edele Christina Claire Lynch, Sinead Arthur O'Caroll and Lindsay Armaou were B*Witched - an all-jumping, all dancing pop band on the GlowWorm label. The debut album would come with a free denim purse, which pretty much set out the stall for the target audience they were eyeing up.
B*Witched were huge, in a small way. Carefully marketed and promoted, the bands first four singles all made number 1 - the jaunty "C'est La Vie" and "Rollercoaster", the cleverly orchestrated third single big ballad "To You I Belong", and the mature "Blame It On The Weatherman". They were all cheaply made, instantly catchy and more than a little annoying, featuring as they did an obligatory Irish fiddle section every few minutes and one of the girls going "What oire you loike?" to remind you they were, like, Irish. Nevertheless, a 100% strike rate of chart-topping singles suggested B*Witched had a solid fanbase and future. The (self-titled) album went platinum and Yaboom Toys brought out rare dolls of all the girls which were startlingly lifelike - certainly the Edele one had a weird nose.
B*Witched dropped off the pop radar as rapidly as they'd ascended it. Second album "Awake and Breathe" was a step in the mature direction, perhaps too much so for the bands young audience. Also, in truth, its singles were poorly chosen, the by-numbers "I Shall Be There" (roping in Ladysmith Black Mazambo) being a copycat "To You I Belong" but less tuneful, while the inferior "Jump" was rushed out as a third single in the hope that something "upbeat" would reverse the downward trajectory of the bands chart positions. Meanwhile someone found Sinead O'Caroll's birth certificate which revealed her to actually be 46, and not 19 as she had originally claimed. America was also calling at this point, and an EP "Accross America 2000" featuring pointless covers of Toni Basil's "Mickey" and "Play That Funky Music" distracted promotional attention away from the UK and Ireland. The final indignity came in 2002 when the band were dropped by their record label while in Africa recording the video to "Where Will You Go", the first single from their doomed third album. Presumably the album was ready to go but remains in the GlowWorm vaults somewhere. A new deal with TelStar (home to all lost acts) fell through, and the band split, reportedly when Sinead O'Caroll quit.
Whither The 'Witched? Lindsay Armaou has her own website and forum, but the last update wishes us a Merry Christmas and imparts such nuggets of information like the fact she moved house and went on holiday in Malta last year. Armaou now lives with ex-911 singer Lee Brennan and runs a Home For Popstars Time Forgot. The Keavy Lynch website has some nice pictures and a section headed "The Future" which lists a planned panto performance and nothing else. Sinead O'Caroll was last seen in 2002 at the Four Seasons Hotel Rat Pack Ball singing the songs of Ella Fitzgerald and wearing a Lorraine Chase hat.
Nothing with the 'Witched logo on has ever sold on Ebay for more than the price of two bottles of Fabric Conditioner. The lost third album is our best bet for rarities. It's out there, somewhere.
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