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Episode two of the second series. First shown on 21st April 1991. Aunts and ogres There are no aunts at all in this episode but it makes up for it with that classic pair of ogres - Sir Watkyn Bassett and Roderick Spode.
Eggs, beans and crumpets As last time, newt fancier and general wet blanket, Gussie Fink-Nottle is the main focus of Bertie’s loyal attentions though we also get our first proper look at Mister Martin Clunes as Barmy.
The F of the S is more D than the M When Stiffy Bing wants something, don't be in her line of sight because she'll play you like a chess piece and then throw you away like a chip wrapper.
The bally balliness of it all We open with a shifty looking Gussie Fink-Nottle paying a visit to Bertie’s apartment when the young master is out and about. He has come to see Jeeves to confess that he’s terrified at the prospect of giving a speech at his wedding breakfast. In the audience will be Sir Watkyn Bassett and Roderick Spode and they do to Gussie what a naked flame does to an ice sculpture of Dennis Compton.
Speaking of cricket, some time later we join a strangely confident Gussie giving a critical analysis of Stinker Pinker’s batting technique. It’s all in the wrist action, you see, and Stinker – the Oxford Blue – doesn’t have it.
Harold is out – caught at the wicket – and it’s time for Gussie to go in and show them how it’s done. As Stinker leaves the field of battle there is a harsh exchange with Stiffy. Some coolness has apparently entered their relationship just as the warmth returns to the Gussie-Madeline imbroglio.
Sadly, for all his increased confidence, Gussie can’t play a lick of cricket and is out first ball.
Spode is still peddling his black shorted message. He’s moved on from root vegetables and is now promising every Englishman a bicycle and an umbrella.
Spode meets and greets after his rally.
Spurred on by Stiffy, Harold asks Sir Watkyn if he can marry Stiffy. No no no no no is his answer. He takes it like a man. Stiffy does not. Well, she wouldn’t would she?
She tries to take her frustrations out on Constable Oats by accusing him of bowling a no-ball but he tells her he’s got his eye on "certain people" and waddles off. Stiffy is furious and orders Harold to steal Oats’ helmet so he’ll have to walk round the village looking like a fool. Stinker says he really couldn’t do something like that and Stiffy calls off their engagement.
Driving back from the match, Gussie gets another chance to show off his new confidence. He interrupts a march by Spode’s supporters and roundly abuses them.
Back at Totleigh, Gussie and Jeeves explain their conversation of a few days before and how it has transformed Gussie from a jelly to a man of iron.
"We do not fear those whom we despise" explains Jeeves. In Gussie’s case, this meant cultivating a lofty contempt for Sir Watkyn and Spode and repeating every last disparaging detail until they lose their aura of terror. In fact, he went one better. He wrote it all down in a notebook so he wouldn’t forget any of it.
The notebook is in his back pocket… oh… it’s not there. But he can remember it so it’s fine. Then Bertie points out the obvious – what if Spode or Bassett should find it?
The only clue as to the whereabouts of the book is that Gussie definitely had it when he played tennis that morning with Stiffy. Bertie pops round to see her at once. Yes she’s got the notebook, no she won’t give it to him. She wants Jeeves to think of a way to get Sir Watkyn to agree to her marrying Stinker.
Bertie puts the matter before Jeeves but before the great man can give it much thought, he finds that there are some strange objects in the wardrobe.
Gussie takes matters into his own hands – he goes round to Stephanie’s room to win her over… with a newt.
He thinks the notebook is in her handbag and makes an attempt to grab it. For the third time in two episodes he is caught in a compromising position by Madeline Bassett.
This time the engagement could really be at an end.
Bertie tells Jeeves that there was an atmosphere at dinner last night. Spode was fuming, Madeline was giving him funny looks and Gussie didn’t turn up at all. At that moment, Gussie does show up and tells Bertie about the incident with Stiffy, the newt and the former’s bed. Bertie clasps the note he was given to meet Madeline after breakfast – it has suddenly taken on a sinister hue.
The flappy young drip tells him her engagement to Gussie is at an end and she will become Mrs Bertram Wilberforce Wooster.
Jeeves advises that the best way to reconcile Gussie and Madeline would be for Madeline to see the notebook for herself and that this would lend credence to Gussie’s story as to how he came to be grappling with Stiffy in her bedroom. Bertie decides they should search Stiffy’s room and recover the notebook that way. Alas, they hadn’t reckoned with Bartholomew – her dog – and they are forced to take defensive measures.
Stiffy is not in the least bit surprised to find them hogging her furniture as she expected Bertie to try something like this. She doesn’t see why she should tether the hound as she is cross with men in general but if it means Jeeves giving the matter some thought, she’ll reluctantly do it. Stinker won’t steal the helmet and when Bertie agrees that respectable curates can’t go round pinching policemen’s helmets she unleashes a volley of you’re-all-the-same fury upon him.
While Stiffy blows her nose and blubs about the wretchedness of her now ex-fiancé, Madeline pops round to see Sir Watkyn and announce her news. He takes it badly.
Later, Madeline and Stiffy play a rousing round of tennis while Bertie looks on a wonders aloud how women can take such blows to their emotions as broken engagements one minute and giggle on a tennis court the next. As Stiffy enjoys a post-set glass of lemonade, Jeeves unleashes a scheme. Sir Watkyn – he explains – does not like Bertie. If it was announced that Bertie and Stiffy were betrothed, Sir Watkyn would see Stinker in a whole new light. Penniless, cowardly and clumsy he may be but at least he isn’t Bertie Wooster.
After a little more blackmail around the notebook, Bertie drops in for a word with Sir Watkyn. When the latter discovers that it is his niece not his daughter who is to become Mrs Wooster, he is unexpectedly delighted and gives the betrothal his full and enthusiastic blessing.
Stiffy takes the news of her engagement badly. She has no intention of marrying Bertie even though one gets the impression he would marry her just to be civil. Spode is in the drawing room practicing his speech and trying to copy Mussolini’s stance when Stiffy pops her head round the door and gives Spode the notebook.
He is appalled.
That night, at the fancy dress ball, Lawrence of Arabia takes advantage of Constable Oats’ cigarette break to pinch his helmet. Under the desert robes is none other than Harold Pinker, curate and possible future bishop.
Stiffy is delighted but when she sees Oats carrying out a search of all the rooms, she takes her beloved helmet and hides it in Bertie’s wardrobe.
Elsewhere, Gussie is panicking as the furious Spode tries to beat down his bedroom door. The notebook has been digested and it has not gone down well.
Luckily for Gussie, Bertie and his knowledge of "Eulalie" walk past and take Spode to task. Bertie recovers the notebook and sends Spode away with a flea in his ear, leaving the world safe once more for Gussie-kind.
He gives Gussie the notebook and sends him off to explain everything to Madeline. He is delighted.
She reads the book and finds it highly amusing. All is forgiven and the engagement is back on.
Just then, Sir Watkyn comes downstairs in a rage. Gussie has filled Bassett’s bathtub with newts after his tank broke and Sir Watkyn was so appalled that he pulled the plug on them. Gussie is outraged and lays into him with both barrels. Then, just in case he’s forgotten to say anything important, he gives him the notebook and storms off.
He tells Bertie his story and Bertie is so shocked he drops his sword. He was holding a sword – it’s that kind of party. Words spoken in the heat of the moment may eventually be forgiven but words coldly inscribed in a book can never be forgotten.
Gussie rushes off to get the book back before Sir Watkyn can read it. He quietly pushes the door open and creeps in… only to find the old magistrate sat on the bed in tights reading the thing. He is not welcomed with open arms.
He runs for his life and evades capture only because Sir Watkyn is distracted by Constable Oats and Stiffy Bing. He’s still looking for his helmet. She says she knows where it is – Bertie Wooster has it. The little devil.
Thankfully, Jeeves discovers the helmet before Constable Oats though how it got there is a mystery to them both.
While Oats searches Bertie’s room and Barmy tells the guests how hearing Spode talk about vegetables has changed his life, Gussie is continuing his attempted escape.
But he’s spotted and the chase is on yet again. This time with no Bertie to save him.
The search has come to nothing and Sir Watkyn is forced to apologise to Bertie for falsely accusing him. Bertie – unwisely – takes the opportunity to lecture Sir Watkyn on the proper way to treat an English gentleman who is a guest in your home.
If only he hadn’t stood up to press home his point…
Bertie spends an unhappy night in the cells but is cheered a little by Stiffy’s news that Sir Watkyn decides that even Harold is a better choice of husband for his favourite niece now that Bertie has turned to crime. They’re officially engaged and everything is wonderful.
Jeeves to the rescue Spode is leaving for yet another rally when Jeeves pops up and says "Eulalie" to ensure his full attention.
Bertie is released without a stain on his character as Spode confesses to Sir Watkyn that he yielded to temptation and stole the helmet himself. He did it once when at university and yielded to temptation a second time.
Bassett is persuaded to give Bertie the notebook and allow Gussie to marry Madeline only after being threatened with an announcement in tomorrow’s Times that Madeline and Bertie are betrothed.
Later, at the Drones, Bertie burns the dratted notebook once and for all.
On their way back from the club, Barmy and Bertie happen to glance through a shop window and spot none other than Roderick Spode holding a negligee.
Jeeves now feels at liberty to explain Eulalie as Bertie has discovered the bulk of the story for himself. Spode owns a lingerie shop called Eulalie Soeurs and has a considerable talent for designing undies. He keeps it a secret as he doesn’t wish his supporters to hear of it.
As a reward for his service in removing the Spode menace from Bertie’s life he gives Jeeves permission to destroy the monogrammed hankies. Jeeves has already done so – last night. The works of Wodehouse This is also based on "The Code of the Woosters" and uses those plot strands not used last week as well as tying up one or two loose ends. 47 Ginger headed sailors He ends the episode sitting at his piano and plays his own theme tune. The final chapter For some reason this feels less satisfying than last week’s episode. Because it is the same characters in the same location and grappling with largely the same issues it comes across as a bit of a rehash. Understandable given that they share a common source but it is episodes like this that give Wodehouse’s work their unfair reputation as repetitive. But the (almost) uniformly good cast mean it is still hugely enjoyable and keeps the viewer guessing right up until the end. I’m sure that, had the lingerie pay-off been a Clive Exton original, I would’ve hated it but because it is genuine Wodehouse I think it is inspired. Compare it with Exton’s own Spode blackmail secret ("Celia") in series four and you’ll see what I mean. So not quite as good as last week but I imagine that seeing them in reverse order, this one would seem better than the first half.
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Jeeves
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