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Episode 2 of series 1, originally broadcast 29th April 1990.
Aunt Agatha is only a spectral presence for most of the episode but Bertie's fear of her is so tangible it has its own dressing room. Her dog, Macintosh, plays a starring role. Aunt Dahlia is the good egg – Bertie’s only kindly aunt – and she’s the sort of person who describes marriage as "feeding for life from the same bucket." She too only passes through the episode but will feature more later in the series.
Two of Bertie's chum feature heavily in this episode. It's Barmy in the first half and Tuppy - Hildebrand to give him his full name - in the second. The TV series never really makes mention of it but Tuppy Glossop is the nephew of Sir Roderick Glossop - who we met last time - and cousin of Honoria.
Bobbie Wickham is the very definition of the phrase "the female of the species is more deadly than the male". She's beautiful and dangerous in equal measures. Cora Bellinger is neither beautiful nor dangerous - she's just terribly serious and has a very loud voice.
Bertie asks Jeeves when his intelligence began to flourish. "Did it come on suddenly?"
Bertie’s new plus-sixes do not meet with Jeeves’s approval. He says that perhaps Mr Frederick "He’s a Riot" Flowerdew might appear on stage in comparable attire on the music hall stage but not a gentleman golfer such as Mr Wooster.
The episode opens with Jeeves reluctantly talking the dog Macintosh for a walk. The dog – belonging to the fearsome Aunt Agatha – has been staying with Bertie for a few weeks while the aged relative has been inspecting the continent.
It is the day of the annual Drones Club golf tournament and Bertie is confident of reaching the quarter finals at the very least. Jeeves is rather more concerned about the dog.
Bertie is eager to do well in the tournament to impress Bobbie Wickham. Why? Oh, didn’t he mention it? He’s in love with Miss Wickham. Jeeves doesn’t approve. He tries to explain himself but Bertie doesn’t quite grasp it.
Barmy is confident of victory in their match – he’s got a new gadget to tell him when to start his downswing. It works really well… as long as you remember to switch it on.
Barmy drives off superbly. Unfortunately, Macintosh won’t stop barking and Bertie’s tee shot goes straight in the refreshment tent.
Bertie does his best to be the game and popular loser but following a walk with young Bobbie he tells Jeeves that what she has suggested as revenge against Barmy is going to make Jeeves look pretty silly.
In days gone by, at Miss Wickham’s school, it was sometimes necessary for them to put one over some of the baser sort. To that end they would tie a darning needle to a broom handle and, in the dead of night, sneak into their bedroom and puncture the offending party’s hot water bottle. Bertie has never been so impressed.
During an operatic recital – from a formidable young woman to whom Tuppy Glossop is making dewy eyes – Barmy asks Jeeves for a broom handle, a darning needle and some string. He exchanges knowing looks with Bobbie. It is clear that Miss Wickham is playing Bertie and Barmy off against each other for her own amusement.
While waiting for the dead of night Bertie has a few practice strokes. It doesn’t do to leave these things to chance. Sadly, Macintosh follows him out as he goes to extract revenge on Barmy and all hell breaks loose.
It turns out not to be Barmy’s bedroom – it is the bedroom of the strange Eastern European couple who don’t serve any purpose other than being the victim of several practical jokes. They take Bertie’s room, he may have theirs.
The next morning Jeeves informs Bertie that he will lay out a suit for the journey home. Bertie doesn’t understand. Jeeves explains that Barmy has already been asked to leave after he crept into the Eastern European couple’s bedroom last night and pierced their hot water bottle. Bertie still doesn’t understand.
Jeeves explains that Miss Wickham was the source of both suggestions and finally Bertie understands what he almost let himself in for.
Some days later, Bertie is tickling the ivories when he gets a note from Bobbie asking if he’ll give tea to her and two friends. She specifies the menu – lots of puddings, cakes and chocolate. Bertie is appalled and goes off to remonstrate with her. She wraps him round her little finger – the cakes are for a theatre producer’s son whom she is desperate to impress. His father is a powerful Broadway figure and always relies on his son’s opinions of new plays. Bobbie is hoping to convince him to stage her mother’s new play. After tea she and a reluctant Jeeves give a reading.
Meanwhile, Bertie is having lunch at the Drones with Tuppy and Barmy. Tuppy invites everyone to the opera to see the Marriage of Figaro. Bertie asks if that’s the one with the pyramids.
Bertie gets a phone call from Bobbie – in order to clinch the deal for the play she has given away Aunt Agatha’s dog as a gift to the child.
Fear not – Jeeves has a plan. The first thing to do is make Bertie irresistible to dogs by sprinkling aniseed on his trousers.
He gets a funny look from a passing gentleman.
He goes into Mr Blumenfield’s suite and lures the dog out with a combination of scent and singing.
But no sooner has he got it home and safe than Mr Blumenfield is round to demand it back. Luckily Jeeves convinces him that Bertie is an eccentric – possibly a dangerous one – and should not be woken and remonstrated with.
Bertie is horrified when Jeeves gives the dog back and flaps openly.
He chases after Mr Blumenfield but has to give that up when he sees Aunt Agatha going into his apartment block. He runs after her but he’s too late.
But Jeeves has of course performed a switcheroo and given Master Blumenfield a different dog. Later, they all go to the opera to see Tuppy’s new love in action.
Tuppy wants Bertie to big up his intelligence to Cora (the opera singer). He suggests they go back stage and meet her.
Bertie’s subtle attempts to let Cora know how serious minded Tuppy is don’t get much further than him announcing out of the blue "Phew – he’s so serious minded, old Tuppy." But Tuppy has a plan – he’s been helping out at an inner city lads club and Cora has agreed to sing at their next concert party. Tuppy is going to impress her by singing "Sonny Boy".
While Bertie doesn’t consider himself responsible for Tuppy’s affairs of the heart, Aunt Dahlia does. Tuppy was engaged to Bertie’s cousin Angela until they had a frightful row a few weeks earlier. Now it is up to Bertie to make Tuppy crawl back to Angela having ruined his romance with Cora. Jeeves has a plan – if Tuppy sings "Sonny Boy" straight after Bertie has sung "Sonny Boy" then the audience will give Tuppy the bums rush and he’ll be so humiliated that Cora won’t want anything to do with him. Aunt Dahlia says he’ll do it, much to Bertie’s discomfort. Eventually Bertie sees a flaw in the plan – Tuppy won’t sing the same song he’s just heard Bertie sing. But Jeeves has thought of that – Tuppy is staying in the pub until its his turn. Bertie gets up on stage and belts out a spirited "Sonny Boy". The audience are less than enthusiastic and begin heckling him almost immediately. Fruit is passed around the auditorium.
Next is Tuppy’s turn and he gets even shorter shrift than Bertie. Fruit and veg are flung almost immediately.
But there is bad news – Cora wasn’t there. She didn’t see Tuppy’s Waterloo. The whole agony was for nothing.
Just as Bertie thought Jeeves had let him down and one of his master plans had failed, it becomes clear what the real plan was. Before Bertie had even arrived at the hall, two people had sung Sonny Boy. Bertie was the third and Tuppy the fourth. But the real pay off was his intercepting Cora Bellinger when she arrived and asking her – as a special favour to Tuppy – to sing "Sonny Boy".
When the audience gave her the fruit treatment she leapt to the conclusion that Tuppy had played a prank on her and punched him in the face. Love, once again, was dead.
Aunt Dahlia calls to say that Tuppy was back with Angela and begging for forgiveness. Bertie does the decent thing and lets Jeeves dispose of his ugly golf trousers as a reward.
This episode is made up of three short stories from the collection "Thank You Jeeves". The hot water bottle incident is from "Jeeves and the Yuletide Spirit" and originally featured Bertie puncturing Sir Roderick Glossop's hot water bottle thinking it was Tuppy's. The business with Aunt Agatha's dog comes, funnily enough, from a tale called "The Episode of the Dog Macintosh" and the business with "Sonny Boy" comes from "The Song of Songs".
Bertie gives a spirited rendition of "Forty Seven Ginger Headed Sailors" – a song which is all the rage at the Drones. Jeeves isn’t surprised. It is a jolly tune made famous by Jack Hylton and one which confused me from the day I first heard it (1990) until two minutes ago. I always thought the final lines were "An old mate down in Devon, said my idea of heaven, is forty seven ginger headed sailors". This seemed dangerously homoerotic for the 1920s. It turns out it is "maid" not "mate" which makes more sense.
It's a little bit rushed - three fairly unconnected short stories in 50 minutes is pushing it a little but they are all jolly entertaining little romps. It might've felt a bit more joined up if Tuppy had been the supposed victim of the practical joke - it would've felt less like two 25 minute episodes shown back to back if there had been the Tuppy-Bertie rivalry running through it. So, although I'm giving it quite a low mark, it was a fun episode. It just seems a bit light compared with the rest of the series.
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