We last saw Flash Gordon paralysed by the paralysing ray (as you would expect) about to be run over by a bomber (as you wouldn’t). Since there is literally no way he could escape from this predicament we are forced to wonder how the serial company intend to fill the next ten weeks of exciting adventure.

Their first step is to breathe a bit of life into Doctor Zarkov by waking him up from his stupor.

Then have him grasp the paralysed Flash by the ankles…

…and knock him to the floor, well out of the way of the physics-defying paralysing ray.

The bomber crew miss their target and realise they’ve cocked the hell up. They hide behind their small desk.

And smash into the nearest rock.

Zarkov uses the paralysing ray to de-paralyse Flash.

But the men from the bomber which smacked into a rock like a bull smacking into a china shop are actually fine. The impact hasn’t even dented their cardboard wings. They scheme.

They find Flash – now only pretending to be paralysed – and a fight breaks out.

Zarkov makes a terrible discovery – there isn’t much Nitron left in the tubes. Flash says they should save it for the Clay People. I don’t know whether they intend to use the gun on them or trade it for their chums. It keeps you guessing.

Flash decides to steal the bomber. To do this he takes the baddie he beat up and waves his arm about from behind a rock.

"Help help" he cries in a higher-than-usual-voice. The dumb bomber crew run to help their stranded colleague.

Flash and Zarkov steal the rocket ship.

But the crash did too much damage – Zarkov can’t fix it so they’ll have to find another way through.

Flash suggests the earlier tunnel but Zarkov remembers its full of gas. Flash then says something incomprehensible involving the paralysing ray. It almost sounds as if he thinks he can use it to paralyse poison gas.

Outside, they steal the crew’s cloaks too. They are "flying cloaks" according to Flash and will be "faster than walking".

But they are spotted by the men they have systematically robbed for the past couple of minutes.

So they fly away. Yes. They do.

Meanwhile, back at Ming’s lab, nothing is happening.

Flash and Zarkov creep in and find the tunnel which is full of poisoned gas. But they are spotted by the boss.

He threatens Ming and Ming backs away. Flash puts on a gas mask he’s obtained somewhere and escapes into the secret tunnel.

Guards try to follow but are put off by the poisoned gas. As you would be if you couldn’t obtain breathing equipment out of thin air.

Azura arrives and is given an update.

They send men with masks down into the tunnels to follow our heroes. And I use that word loosely.

The guards watch as Flash and Zarkov escape on public transport and climb back up the ladder like they don’t give a toss.

A train for lovers and fetishists.

The guards report about the monorail. Ming and Azura are appalled.

Azura says she can’t send any of her men after Flash because it would be "certain death". Ming suggests she send Clay Men instead. So she turns two of her men into Clay Men and condemns them to a living death. Benevolence and beauty. What a Queen.

They vanish in a puff of smoke.

Flash and Zarkov arrive at the Clay Kingdom. They leave the train which, as soon as it is empty, goes back to Azura’s palace. Which makes no sense but never mind.

They creep into the Clay King’s throne room and paralyse the guards.

Flash makes his demands to the King. He agrees to release Dale and Happy.

Dale is delighted.

But outside, some Clay Men creep about.

They grab the paralysing ray. Zarkov doesn’t notice.

Wait! These are no ordinary Clay Men – they are the recent converts. Or members of the Black and White Clay Minstrels Show cast.

Flash sees what is going on and, channelling the spirit of the 1980s Queen film, throws a football shaped rock at the evil Clay Men.

It disarms them and they flee.

The gun is ruined but Flash and the Clay King make friends and have a chat which includes a recap of the first Flash Gordon serial. Blonde Dale and all.

The film looks ropey as hell (no jokes please). We get a recap of the invisibility storyline that satisfied viewers for several weeks.

Meanwhile, back at the palace, Azura is getting a report from the two briefly-clay soldiers. She somehow guesses that they don’t bring good news.

They are turned back to Clay Men and sent to the caves.

Flash and Zarkov have left the caves and apparently ventured to the forest. Azura watches them on the television viewer screen.

Azura says the forest men are the most savage race on Mars. I see no evidence of that.

They find a manky looking pot idol. That’s never a good thing in one of these serials. It always ends up being terribly significant and gets broken and the savages take hideous vengeance. You wait.

See.

See.

See.

Dale has long since fainted but the heat even overcomes those with scrotums.