I wanted to make a devil in white joke but I couldn’t think of anything. Not now Leeds United are a pathetic laughing stock who don’t need the added burden of people making poor quality Satanist jokes in their general direction. I could’ve referenced Kevin Smith’s occasionally brilliant "Dogma" but it would’ve meant looking up a spelling and I can’t be bothered.

I bet there isn’t a devil in this episode, dressed in white or not dressed in white.

We left Dick about to be crushed to death and burned to death – two for one – and I am eager to see how he gets out of this mess.

Let’s take a brief pause and look at a couple of the recap caption slides. This one states…

So why did you go – in person – to the headquarters of Dick Tracy? That is literally moronic. Either hide or don’t hide – there isn’t much of an in-between for you to hang out in.

Dick meanwhile is the only one who is actually doing anything. Everyone else is helping or sitting down or trying to do stuff. Dick is actually out there, getting into trouble and needing assistance. He’s also still threatening to shoot himself with a miniature cannon.

Back to Dick and that strange burning sensation.

Hurrah – he’s not been crushed by falling beams – they just fell somewhere else. He’s also no longer tied up as he’s freed his legs by waggling them and his arms just seem to have wandered absentmindedly out of their bonds.

Dick has jumped off the boat and is in the water somewhere.

This bit of water to be more specific.

Sidedick drags him out of the water and performs mouth-to-mouth. Actually he does the 1930s version of life saving – he gives him a manly pat on the shoulder and that seems to do the trick.

Meanwhile, back at HQ, the idiot is telling the small boy a tall tale about the evening's adventure.

He’s interrupted by the woman and a dignitary. She explains that there is nothing new known about Gordon’s disappearance. Has no one been paying attention?

Meanwhile, Dick is at the bedside of the engraver we met briefly a few weeks ago.

Weirdly, the engraver is now covered head to toe in bandages. He was completely unharmed when he went into that hospital. That is one bad hospital. Remind me never to go back 70 years in time and get ill.

His doctor comes in and says that the engraver is being transferred at the request of his family. The doctor is bald. SO IS THE LAME ONE. This may be a clue.

This man is mopping floors. He looks suspicious.

He goes into a cupboard to use his mobile.

He is suspicious. He’s phoning the hunchback and the sinister Gordon.

The Lame One is in the study so he can’t be the balding doctor. Gordon proclaims that the engraver bears the mark of the spider and no one who bears the mark of the spider still lives. He doesn’t cover himself legally by adding in small print that the bumpkin and Dick Tracy don’t count because they bear the mark of the spider and do live.

Moloch suggests they capture the engraver and alter his mind to make him work for them. The sinister Gordon says he vaguely remembers hearing about such a procedure. Moloch realises he’s made a bit of a boob and that it might not be a good thing if Gordon realises that he was the subject of that operation.

Meanwhile, back at Dick’s HQ, Dick has a plan. They will put cars all around the hospital. These cars will have two way radios and when they spot the Spider Ring’s car, they will broadcast a description to all the other cars. The cars will then follow the car with the kidnapped engraver in it. It is a brilliant plan. Only I was expecting Dick to don the bandages and pretend to be the engraver.

Well wadda ya know – two men in bandages. Either this hospital is even worse than we thought or Dick has a plan. The woman is worried about him but he assures her he’s taken precautions.

Ahhh – the days when hospitals had awkward flights of stairs. I miss them – all this ramps nonsense is political correctness gone mad.

Some dynamic G-Men seen on observation duty.

More dynamic G-Men on duty.

Yet more G-Men. The one with the radio gives his detailed description to headquarters. It’s "a white ambulance" with "no distinguishing features". Cheers for that. It’s a great help. Nothing is quite as useful in life as pathetic vagueness.

Back at base, the small boy and this man are plotting the positions of all the G-Cars using the latest technology. I only mention it because the man in the grey suit is Clive Anderson. It’s chapter 14 and it’s the first time I’ve known who Clive Anderson is.

Here we see the white ambulance with no distinguishing features. Apart from a licence plate of course. I could be a G-Person I could.

The car chase continues. The baddies have finally noticed.

But wait! They have a plan. They transfer what they think is an engraving expert into a florist’s van. That will surely confuse America’s dumbest crime fighters.

Speaking of which, Sidedick and the idiot think something is up. Sidedick is determined to find out what it is. He could start with his colleague’s IQ being lower than the Unibond League.

The brains trust find the ambulance. They open it, find it is empty and conclude "He’s gone".

One of the geniuses spotted a florists truck. Steve Lockwood snaps his fingers (literally) and declares that they switched vehicles.

The patient is brought into the very nerve centre of the Spider Ring. He’s welcomed by Moloch and the sinister Gordon.

Dick breaks cover.

A Czechoslovakian performance artist emerges from a secret room. With better lighting his hands would look as if they were floating about on their own.

Dick is uncovered. Moloch is delighted.

Yay. I don’t mean that. Another bumpkin. Sidedick and the idiot ask for directions.

A man enjoying his work.

Moloch calls Gordon "Gordon" and the penny finally drops. Dick realises that the sinister Gordon Tracy is the same Gordon Tracy as his brother, Gordon Tracy.

An ether mask is applied to Dick’s face and he loses consciousness.

Is Dick to become as Gordon is? Will Dick become a tool (of the Lame One)?

There was no devil.