You lucky, lucky people. A special bonus episode of Dick Tracy. I spoil you. But I couldn’t leave you in suspense and anxiety for a whole week – Mary Whitehouse would be appalled. We left Dick being shot in the head…

But it wouldn’t be a recap of the cliff-hanger if some important extra facts weren’t added to explain the inevitable survival of the hero. Firstly, we see the idiot reach into his pocket, presumably for a gun, although I don’t think this man with a gun in his hand would make me any the safer.

Then we see the Lame One inexplicably open the door BEFORE he’s switched the lights off.

The small boy takes this opportunity to photograph the Lame One.

Then Dick moves his head out of the way before the Lame One can fire his gun.

The Lame One runs away, across his trusty plank of wood, while Dick and his crew scour the building. A figure emerges from a cupboard – limping as he is – and Sidedick guesses this must be the Lame One. Never mind that he’s got a bucket on his foot and that that might explain the limp.

It’s the idiot. He somehow found time to fire his gun, run from the room and get into all sorts of trouble in a cupboard in the time it took for a younger, fitter man to merely run from the study.

Sidedick finds this man in the corridor. I don’t know who he is. Has he been in the serial before? I should know people after thirteen chapters but this man is a stranger to me.

More comedy as two men creep towards each other without realising it.

At least they get rid of that damned bucket.

Back in Dick’s office, the small boy reveals his photographic exploits. Dick’s head turns so fast that I feel dizzy just watching it.

Meanwhile, at the docks, some important visitors are taken over some extremely unsafe looking planks. Health and safety wouldn’t allow that these days – the whole yard would have to be concreted over before anyone (even a criminal mastermind) could go near it.

It’s the sinister Gordon – he’s come to find a seedy man who can get the photograph of the Lame One.

The woman is developing the photograph in Dick’s lab, unaware that the seedy man is already outside and looking for a way in to steal it.

Dick orders that the lights be turned out. He then turns on the red light. It looks like a normal light because this is from the olden days when "red" was just an idea. A hope. A dream. There was really no such thing as "red".

It’s becoming clearer. They can almost see it. The excitement burns like £2-per-litre vodka.

Oh no – a hand… near a light switch…

This can only mean…

The photo is ruined. Dangnabbit.

Dick and his posse chase the culprit but he gets away in his car. It’s suddenly dark outside – that’s how cross Dick is.

Thank goodness the bad guy dropped something as he left. And dropped it in such a well lit place. It’s probably a trap.

No – it’s actually a restaurant.

Steve Lockwood – a man so uptight he even wears a tie with a t-shirt.

Dick’s decided to blunder into the Spider Ring’s trap. But he isn’t blundering in unprepared. Oh no – he’s got the latest telecommunications device with him. Any hint of trouble and he’ll tap out a Morse code message.

Isn’t this the same set we saw a few weeks ago? In the exciting episode which ended with Dick falling down a hole.

The waiter/barman/restaurant guy goes off to get Dick’s dinner. Dick doesn’t believe a word of it.

Dick gets up, goes out into a corridor, follows a man who is fortunately not that far in front of him after all, and ends up sneaking on board this chap’s boat.

Apparently it wasn’t a trap as Dick bursts in and takes the Lame One, Molloch and the sinister Gordon completely by surprise.

But the Lame One is one step (ho ho ho) ahead – he presses a secret button with his big foot…

…and alerts the heavy mob. Not the heaviest mob I’ve ever seen.

A fight breaks out.

A fire is started accidentally.

Dick is knocked out.

Meanwhile, the Sidedick is waiting for Dick’s signal. A signal which will never come as Dick’s been left unconscious in a burning building.

To add insult to injury, he’s now unconscious and tied up in a burning building.

He regains his wits just enough to send a buzzing message to Sidedick.

He then gets up and walks out. If I were trapped in a burning building, I’d get out BEFORE sending a Morse code message to my sidekick telling him where I am. Otherwise I might BURN TO DEATH while tapping away. I for one don’t want my last words to be "beep beep buzz buzz buzz beep beep."

The idiot and Sidedick are in a police boat and are on their way to save Dick. Either that or they’ve decided they can do without him and would rather go to the drive in movie theatre.

Dick has gone limp. I bet "it's the first time that's ever happened".

Some burning things have fallen on top of him.

And that just about wraps it up for Dick.