Department S – A final word

So that’s that then. Department S done and dusted after a year of reviews. It struck me shortly after beginning that I’d tried this once before. Many years ago – we’re talking 93 or 94 – I’d started something similar. Inspired by the likes of the Discontinuity Guide (or to put it another way, episode guides with quirky headings) I definitely remember typing away on my old Sharp electric word processor thing (one of the ones with a screen and the ability to store things on floppy disks). It didn’t go anywhere of course but it is nice to know I could finally succeed where the younger and prettier me had failed.

Something like this for younger readers who don't know what an electric word processor was

I think the main thing I’ve learned is that Department S isn’t as good as I thought it was. I’d held it in high regard for so many years and now I see it is mostly not that great. The problem with it is that it was produced on a production line along with far more generic ITC productions and inevitably it got dragged down to their level. I don’t mean that in as derogatory a way as it sounds but Department S by its very nature should be different to more run of the mill programmes such as "Man in a Suitcase" or "The Baron". There are too many episodes of Department S which feel like left over scripts which have a bit of a ponderous tag added to the beginning before falling into a routine investigatory hole. If they’d made twelve episodes of Department S each year they would’ve had a better show. It just isn’t possible to make 28 episodes of this type of show in a year without sacrificing something.

There have been some excellent episodes of course – if you’re going to seek them out (and you can’t really as it is only available boxed up in a set so you’ll have to either borrow them from a friend or your local library) then I’d humbly recommend (links go to spoiler versions) –

Six Days (in which a plane full of passengers arrives at its destination six days late without anyone on board being aware of it).

A Cellar Full of Silence (my favourite episode because it was the first one I ever saw and it is rather fun)

The Shift That Never Was (a whole chemical plant shift never happens and no one knows why).

A Ticket to Nowhere (an amnesia episode but brilliantly done and you actually find yourself wondering how Department S can possibly win this time).

The Man From X (a spaceman and a cracking explanation for him).

The Bones of Byrom Blain (skeletons – lots and lots of skeletons).

Soup of the Day (a pleasant surprise – it actually makes a lot of sense and ends the series on a high note).

Equally there have been some shocking episodes. If your friend or local library offers you any of the following I’d advise you to change your name or move to a different catchment area.

Blackout (a great teaser but a horrible mess of coincidences and revolting food).

Dead Men Die Twice (it really doesn’t make any sense and has the worst ending of the entire series).

The Ghost of Mary Burnham (an ok episode ruined by an unconvincing rubber mask right at the end).

Death on Reflection (no mystery, no logic and no point).

The Duplicated Man (too many coincidences and too much luck to find a man who was far too pleased with himself).

A Fish Out of Water (the only episode I gave no points to).

I’ve enjoyed doing the guide – much as it doesn’t sound like it at times – because Department S had been sitting on a shelf since December 2003 when I bought it to celebrate getting a new job. Now I’ve watched the whole lot for the first time since Bravo showed them fifteen years ago. I don’t have any real desire to see them again but I feel like that about most things I watch. Department S has also opened my eyes to the fact that ITC shows are much heralded for their production values and the calibre of their casts but they aren't actually all that good. The plots are very straightforward – even in a quirky show like Dept S – and there are no shades of grey. They were made to be as simple and uncomplicated as possible so they could sell to the American market.

But any critique of Department S is flawed without a quick comparison with The Avengers because Department S wanted to be The Avengers so badly. Alas it never came close. It was a little more down to earth than the Avengers – Steed and Emma wouldn’t have become involved in anything as mundane as an aeroplane arriving late at its destination – but The Avengers managed to achieve far greater quality despite a similar production schedule. It had more imagination, more style, more wit and more inventiveness than Department S. It also had a considerably higher success rate – Department S was probably great 25% of the time, average 50% of the time and dreadful 25% of the time. The Avengers was almost always great.

So, as I said above, that’s that. Twenty eight cases have been solved and Department S shuts up shop forever. It would be a great one to bring back with a 21^st century twist though. And the format is so close to that of the Avengers that you could basically backdoor a new Avengers TV series using the Department S name. It is such a good format because you aren’t limited to things that can only be solved with the help of a ghost or which require an overweight American playboy to stumble on and punch someone. Three agents – a down to earth guy, a glamorous but intelligent chick and a colourful dandy solving absurd crimes in a stylish way. If that isn’t Saturday evening television I don’t know what is.