There exists a review that proclaims "Storm Warning" to be one of the finest stories of all time. My opinion when I first heard it was the opposite; to me, it was one of the worst. Less a story than a bit of very pretty scene-setting wrapping up a terribly dull, truly appalling Episode 3. Yes, those memories of hearing Episode 3 still haunt me to this day! It was like being forced to watch all the dull bits in "Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan" edited together into a loop. A hideous hour (it felt like an hour, okay?) of dramatic, literary vandalism where everyone stood around and said the plot. At length.

I don't like the work of Alan Barnes. Haul me across hot coals for it, I don't care. The man seems to trade on bombast, and even his emotional moments are of the over-wrought, grand, "Titanic"-esque declaration-of-love-as-the-world-erupts-into-Armageddon type. Oh, and his scripts are smug too. "Storm Warning" begins with the Doctor talking to himself for no reason (at length), a fact which isn't excused by him drawing attention to it (I suppose that's supposed to be wittily ironic). That's not a crime in itself, but the fact that you have cause to notice he's doing it (even before he tells you wittily and ironically) is. His stall is set out by the list of classical books he inexplicably reels off in the opening TARDIS scene - "Alice in Wonderland", a tome the character would spend the rest of his audio incarnation spouting on about, isn't included, but should have been.

What is it that made people like "Storm Warning" so much? It sure as hell wasn't Episode 3. More than likely, it was what it represented - a return to the fold for McGann, the prodigal son at last succumbing to the lure of doing a Big Finish audio, and all those lovely TV Movie TARDIS sound effects thrown in to boot. Barnes actually had to do very little - introduce him, give him a girl assistant and create some sort of energetic plot to spin the thing around. "Storm Warning" begins by ripping off "Titanic" something rotten, from all the stuff with Tamworth not heeding the warnings of the airship's designer over safety (just as Mr Ismay was persuaded not to clutter up the deck of his Titanic with useless old lifeboats) to the 1920's era stowaway who shouldn't officially be on board. But just so it isn't completely obvious, Barnes sticks a bog-standard alien invasion plot into the middle so we know this is still Doctor Who. And that's where it really all goes horribly wrong.

To be fair, the waters almost meet but for the most important part of the story. At times it pays to be predictable, and had Tamworth simply failed to usurp his newly encountered aliens in a 'don't mess with things you don't understand' parable, at least this would feel rounded. Instead baffled listeners of that third episode are confronted with the death of the Lawgiver and the fact that the Uncreator Prime is about to take over, and Tamworth isn't an Uncreator but Rathbone is yadda yadda. I'm pretty sure this goes on for over forty five minutes because on my way to work I was in High Wytch when it began and almost feeling asleep on the M10 as it ended. If it wasn't for Rathbone, possessor of officially the most Amazing Accent in Big Finish history (which, in the course of the story, dances from Africa to the South of France and ends up somewhere around Cardiff) there may have been a serious accident.

Even though I don't much like him, the boy was doing okay until then. But one suspects an over ambitious agenda at the core of "Storm Warning". Look at "Spearhead from Space" for guidance - you've already got a lot to do, so it's enough for the menace to appear and then just go again. We don't need your complex alien society booted into things as well, not this time. Hmmph, Alan Barnes. Let's hope we don't see HIM writing an Eighth Doctor audio again eh?