
Black Orchid

“Dark Grey Daffodil”, “Navy Blue Tulip”,
“Blood Red Daisy”

“The One With Two Bland Girls” (USA), “Big
Lip Monster Attacks Tokyo” (Japan), “Let’s Dance and Have Exotic Flowers!”
(Germany)

Doctor Who and his chums
play a little cricket, do a little dancing and basically get down tonight.

*** - Two Nyssa’s really
doesn’t excite me. Two Tegans would be a fun weekend though.

Adric : “I’ve just
doubled my chance of scoring with Nyssa”
Tegan : “Twice nothing is still nothing”
Adric : “I have a badge for mathematical excellence and so can disprove
that with a large sheet of paper.”
Doctor : “Fight… fight… fight…” (cut from the final version)

Tegan : "It's fancy
dress, isn't it?"
Lord Cranleigh : "Yes."
Tegan : "Well, we haven't got any pants"
Sir Robert Muir : "I was just thinking how charming yours was."

Three minutes were
deleted from Adric's buffet scenes before the DVD was released. This is
because BBC policy forbids the release of anything which might encourage
obesity. Previously worthless videos leapt in value overnight while new
fans of the series miss the chance to be as revolted by Adric as proper
fans are.
The Charleston was created simultaneously but independently by The Rock
and Anne Charleston from Neighbours. They agreed to the shared name only
after their first suggestion - Anne Rock - was thought to sound
gramatically incorrect which might've discouraged potential dancers.
In America this serial
was renamed simply ‘Orchid’ to avoid offending anyone.
After this serial went out, the police recorded a one thousand percent
increase in the number of cases of people spray painting flowers black.
Doctor Who was, according to the Daily Mail, responsible for "horticulturogeddon".
Twenty five years on the Daily Mail considers garden vandalism far below
turning the nation's children gay on Doctor Who's list of social evils.
Janet Fielding gave Sarah Sutton dancing lessons prior to recording this
story and, according to Ms Sutton’s autobiography, Janet “grasped me as if
she thought of me as her favourite teddy bear or inflatable person”.
During one take, Matthew Waterhouse sneezed so hard that he was lifted
seven inches into the air. He returned to Earth shortly afterwards. With
the strong winds reported on location it was feared he might be blown away
next time so the producer insisted on a stout rope being tied round his
leg. In his memoirs JNT muses on how much better things might've been if
he'd insisted on lots of pepper instead.
This story was planned to be an extra on the DVD release of The Visitation
as two part stories aren’t worth the video tape they’re written on. Then
the BBC realised money was at stake and insisted people pay an extra
£12.99 for it.

...is never to trust anyone
who insists you wear special clothes before they'll let you join their
party.

Si Hunt

I’ve never understood
the appeal of fancy dress parties. Aside from the obvious risks involved
in taking a group of people who all know each other and having them dress
up in such a way as to confuse the police when a crime is committed, it is
open to the most appalling abuse. I recall one occasion where the
Firkinsde Doctor Who Club held a fnacy dress ball and everyone but me came
dressed as Dennis Brent. I felt quite nauseous when I saw tall Dennis
Brents, short Dennis Brent, fat Dennis Brents and all many of Dennis
Brents in between. I was dressed as Sarah Sutton so my protestations
didn’t carry as much dignity as they would’ve done had I not been in a
puffy blue party frock. I let it be knows I wasn’t happy but the organisers
just muttered something about people like me never being happy and did
nothing. I can only assume they thought I was a real woman and not just a
man dressed as one and dismissed my objections because women are never
happy. There is literally no other explanation.

This charming little two
parter caused ructions in fandom when it was first transmitted. "I was
sure that Ann would turn out to be the Master" said Charles Charlie in
'Multiple Orchids'. "After the first exciting chapter I told all my
friends at school that the Master would be in the following episode and
they were all jolly excited. One rough boy didn't believe me until I
pointed out that Ann was credited as Sarah Sutton which is an anagram of
'Authors Ants' and if that wasn't a clue that Anthony Ainley would be in
it I don't know what would. When he didn't appear I was devastated. School
was a nightmare - boys surrounded me with home made placards with such
witticisms as 'Us A Ant Short' and 'Uh so Ant star?' It was the worst day
of my life. I've never forgiven or forgotten Doctor Who for making me feel
that way."
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