The Keeper of Traken

"Tremasters of the Universe", "The Keeper and the Corpse", "Genesis of the Nyssa"

“The One With the Armed Custodians" (USA), "Oooh! Sourcy!" (stage adaptation featuring Barbara WIndsor as Nyssa and Brian Blessed as Tremas)

Doctor Who visits the most tranquil and happy place in the universe and destroys it utterly by helping.

*** - what is lacks in excitement it more than makes up for by not wasting more than 100 minutes of your life.

The Doctor: "If I knew everything that was going to happen, where would the fun be?"

JNT: "Even so, Tom, you might want to read the letter of resignation I've drafted for you."

"They say the pants were so full of goodness that evil just shrivelled up and died."

If you watch very closely you can see an effigy of Lalla Ward in the grove. It was fashioned out of wax by an unnamed crew member and the director thought it looked like something evil that had been trapped in amber.

An unnamed member of the cast was caught spying on Sarah Sutton while she undressed. No action was taken because the unnamed member of the cast pointed out that "The Keeper of Traken" is an anagram of "Keen to Peek Farther" and that he was just entering into the spirit of things.

Matthew Waterhouse joked during rehearsals that the Trakens could've "bought their Source on HP" and was sent home for not taking things seriously. He tried the joke again during the recording of episode two which is why he only appears from behind in the episode and why his voice sounds somewhat deeper.

The originally transmitted version of the story featured music by Led Zepplin which had to be removed from the subsequent versions. They were Tom Baker's second favourite band at the time and were chosen because his favourite group only played in his local park and were afraid of recording equipment.

An extended cut of part one exists in the BBCs vaults but it somehow runs 1'14' shorter than the transmitted version. This temporal anomaly has baffled scientists for nearly thirty years. When the restoration team tried to include this as a bonus feature on the DVD release, all their attempts proved futile because it confuses any form of digital playback equipment. To this day, only analogue machines can play the recording. Ian Levine offered two million pounds for the tape but the BBC said they couldn't trust him with such power. Internal memos suggest it would put Levine up amongst the gods which is strictly against BBC policy.

A hilarious mix up happened during one of the studio sessions when the call went out to bring the Fosters on set. An elderly couple called Mr and Mrs Foster who had won the chance to meet the Goodies found themselves with guns in their hands and Doctor Who at their mercy. The director only sensed something was wrong when Mrs Foster said "Bill Oddie is taller than he looks on television" and Sarah Sutton broke character to snap "I don't look anything like Bill Oddie."

...is that evil will triumph in the end.

Si Hunt

I once overheard someone saying that Story 5T was based on a falsehood – namely that collective will could immobilise evil. Now, I’m as uninterested in the petty and irrelevant drivel that is “plot” and “story” as the next man. What the meat puppets do between camera movements, effects sequences, recording breaks and visits to catering are neither here nor there. But I thought this fool’s opinion was worthless and I told him so.

“Don’t be pathetically stupid” I said tactfully. “It is entirely believable that collective will can immobilise evil.”

“But surely you’re not suggesting that people can literally be turned to stone?” he scoffed.

“The next best thing” I assured him. “We have a gentlemen's club in Bendaton and women are most certainly and specifically not allowed on the premises. One day last month a female slipped though the net announced her presence in the reading room. Thirty six gentlemen turned round to stare at her in pure disbelief, revulsion and perhaps a little bit of fear. She was frozen to the spot as thirty six pairs of eyes (well, thirty five plus old Colonel Flench who has two eyes but uses them on alternating days to save wear and tear) bored into her. For fully ten minutes no one moved. She was as close to stone as anyone I've met since Grantham fell into some cement and was too shy to mention it until it had set fast.

In a poll conducted by DWAS, 87% of these questioned said they would accept the role of Keeper if it was offered to them. Of that 87%, one third said they would be benign, one third said they would be modernisers but basically benign and one third swore to smite down all those who didn't obey the Keeper's will and rule with the wrath of all the demons hell could dream up. In the same poll, 58% thought Sarah Sutton was "marginally above average, acceptable, tolerable or marginally tolerable", 18% thought that arming gardeners was a good idea and 4% believed that Denis Carey's head really was that shape.