
The Creature from the Pit

“Oral Sex from the Pit”, “The Creature”,
“The Pit”

“The One with the Dubious Communication”
(USA), “Doctor Who and the Pit Creature of Death” (Target)

Doctor Who finds that a
creature is kept in a pit and does something about it.

*** - I really liked the
pit but the creature was even worse.

“Hello luvvies – I’m
back for more” (The Rutan character actor from Horror of Fang Rock makes
his second appearance in the show)

“Behold - the creature
from the pants”

The Finchly Ferret
described this story as “Carrying on the best traditions of blob based
light entertainment” while that same edition’s horoscope page warned
“Gemini’s should avoid situations involving confrontation with a loved
one and pits with creatures in them”
Tom Baker held his
annual birthday party during the making of this serial and, police
intervention aside, it was considered disappointingly bland.
Several years ago
Jordan saw this story on UK Gold, pointed to the creature and is alleged
to have said “I’ll have two of those, please”
A myth existed that
this was actually a three part story before Dennis Brent successfully
proved that this was simply because no one had been sad enough to reach
the end until his sponsored viewing.
Everyone was quite
unhappy during production until script editor Douglas Adams bought them
all some chips during day six. The mood brightened immediately and you
can clearly see this in the finished product.
Geoffrey Bayldon was
surprised by the This is Your Life team while shooting. Once more
spurned, Tom Baker head butted a production assistant and walked off
muttering “One day it will be me… one sodding day.”

...is that it is never
too late start reading books.

Si Hunt

Some years ago I went to
see a hypnotherapist at the suggestion of Doctor Flapjack. He speculated
that my a-n-u-s trouble might be the result of some regrettable incident
in my past – that I had sat on something unfortunate and had blotted the
episode from my mind. While under the mesmeric influence of a certified
lady I recounted the following story.
I was at a “Doctor Who” convention when a young gentleman came up to me.
“Mr Brent” he began, “I was reading a fascinating technical article you
wrote and was especially interested in your assertion that the
communication scene in Creature From the Pit was reminiscent of
fellatio. I am keen to agree with this fascinating technical remark
but…” he stopped abruptly. I am always keen for people to agree with me,
especially on fascinating technical remarks.
“Go on” I prompted.
“But I’m afraid I don’t know what fellatio is.”
“Surely you must” I prompted again.
“I’m sorry but I have never encountered the term before.”
“Well it’s…” I began but found I could go no further. “It is when…”
“Perhaps you could show me?” he offered. So I did.
Some time later I was recovering in a corner when I heard the same young
man speaking to Ian Devine.
“I was reading a fascinating rebuttal piece that you wrote criticising
Dennis Brent’s article about Creature From the Pit and was especially
interested in your detailed dismissal of his claim that the
communication scene in Creature From the Pit was reminiscent of
fellatio.”
“Really?” said a beaming Ian Devine.
“I would very much like to agree with you but…”
“Go on.”
“But I’m afraid I don’t know what fellatio is.”
“Surely you must” said Ian Devine..
“I’m sorry but I have never encountered the term before.”
“Well it’s…” he began but found his powers of speech wanting. “It is
when…”
“Perhaps you could show me?” he offered. So Ian Devine took him into a
back room and I heard light moans minutes later.
A snap of the hypnotherapist’s fingers brought me round and she told me
what I had said.
“That cannot be a real event” I protested. “It may be a long suppressed
dream I once had but I can assure you those events never happened.”
“What makes you so sure?” she asked, looking over her glasses in a stern
way.
“Because I don’t know what fellatio is” I told her with what I intended
to be a smile of triumph but which she took an entirely different way.
She punched me, banned me from her place of business and called the
police.
I have since looked
the word up in my Stout Boys Pocket Dictionary and had no choice but to
burn the little book for containing such language.

"Creature From the Pit
is" began Stephen Frie, writing in 'The Vortext', "an utter waste of
time, money, energy, resources, video tape, plastic, tin, sweat, blood,
tears, coffee, tea, sympathy, wool, cotton, nylon, acting and faith. The
plot meanders from not existing to existing but in a regrettable form,
the cast give the impression that they would rather be either somewhere
else or just not be anywhere at all, the dialogue was bad enough to have
corroded the lighting rig in Television Centre and the humour is as
misplaced as a bicycle at a one legged man's wedding. In short, the only
thing which could possibly make me distaste this story even more is if I
unwrapped my video cassette and actually watched it. But that won't
happen. Not while my name remains Stephen." His review concluded with a
write-in poll, the results of which were that 95% of those who responded
were able to write in while the remaining 5% said they didn't know.
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