
City of Death

“Mick Jaggeroth”, “City of French People”,
“Louvre Back in Anger”

“The One with the Painting We’ve Never
Heard Of” (USA), “Ou Ze Ell Is Docteur Who?” (France)

Doctor Who and Romana
battle with whatever Douglas Adams thought was funny at the time.

*** - It's iconic and
then some.

"I say - what a
violent butler - he's so wonderful" (Tom would go on to ad lib a
funnier version of this line, or so he claims)

"Pants have... a
bouquet"

Bruges doubled for Paris
in all external shots.
Tom Baker, drunk as a lord, proposed marriage to the Eiffel Tower but
Lalla Ward got herself in the way and nature took it’s religio-legal
course.
Ambitious production unit manager John Nathan Turner would go on to hold
higher Doctor Who office when he script edited Terror of the Vervoids.
Lalla’s school girl outfit was not a cheap ratings ploy. It was purely
coincidental that this story got the highest ratings of the season.
Fact.
A scene where John Cleese peels off his face and is exposed as an alien
was recorded but dropped due to him insisting on shouting ‘this is an ex
face’ when he had finished.
“Doctor Who never tasted so good” declared the Sheldon Monk in a front
page spread. They went on to devote the entire issue to the series. It
was the first and last time that they let the work experience boy edit
the paper.

...is that physical
violence actually does solve life's problems.

Si Hunt

"I remember once being
unfortunate enough to be visiting "g-a-y" Paris and was up the Tower
when I overheard two proles chattering like apes.
"Paris has a bouquet" said one of them in a woefully inaccurate attempt
at reproducing dialogue from Story 5H. My camera script for episode one
was back at my lodgings so I was unable to prompt from the sidelines but
I didn't want to let them continue humiliating themselves.
"Don't be pathetically stupid" I quipped, "the correct reading of the
line should be Romana says 'Mmm! That bouquet!', the Doctor says 'What
Paris has...it has an ethos. It has a life. A...', Romana says 'A
bouquet?', the Doctor says 'A spirit all of its own...like a white wine.
It has...', Romana says 'A bouquet?' and the Doctor says 'It has a
bouquet'. Anything other than an accurate reading renders the entire
thing beneath contempt. you may as well do what Baker used to do and
make it up as he went along."
I tried to barge past them to get to the souvenir shop (which I'd
noticed earlier hadn't bothered to put the postcards in alphabetical
order) when they grabbed me.
"Shall we get rid of this odious man?" asked one.
"Yes" said his colleague. "Shall we bundle him down in the lift or let
him fly?"
"Let's not be ostentatious" said the first. And that's how I came to be
hanging from the Eiffel Tower by the seat of my hard wearing tweed
trousers. The awful plebs didn't even have the strength of character to
throw me over the railings properly. Eventually the authorities cottoned
on to the fact that I wasn't attempting suicide and, when their attempts
to convince me otherwise failed, they cut me down."

Clive Spinmeround,
writing in "Violent Butlers Rule OK", put forward a strong case for City
of Death placing the whole of Fawlty Towers within the Doctor Who canon.
'John Cleese is clearly playing the role of Basil Fawlty. The moustache
is pure Fawlty, the obvious attempts to impress a glamorous woman are
pure Fawlty, the height with which he imbues his character is pure
Fawlty. I believe that Mr Fawlty, perhaps because his hotel has been
closed for a period of structural alteration, has decided to take a
vacation in France and brush up on his art. There he meets a woman who
is precisely his general modus operandi and spouts classic Fawlty
nonsense in the hope of impressing her. You can tell he is playing the
part of Basil as there is a seething rage just beneath the surface which
beautifully counter-points the essential serenity of the scene. I intend
to flesh my theory out in a twelve novella saga which will seamlessly
merge the events of Fawlty Towers and the Williams-Adams-Baker era.
These will be exclusively published by the VBRok Press, an order form is
available overleaf. Photocopies are acceptable if you do not wish to
spoil your magazine.'
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