The Stones of Blood

“The Key To Time Story III”, “Happy Birthday to Who”, “The Boscombe Moor Mystery”, "The Rumford Files"

“The One Where We Expected a Real Seal to Appear" (USA), “Outdated Tosh” (Modern Druid magazine)

Doctor Who finds that he waits for years to find another intelligent companion and then two come along in quick succession.

*** - we're back to gothic and that's just the birthday cake.

Vivien Fay: [Speaking of Professor Rumford's ownership of a ten inch dildo] "Last year, when she was lecturing in New York, she took it with her in case she didn't get shagged."

Romana: "And did she get shagged?"

Vivien Fay: "No, she got arrested for carrying an offensive weapon."

Professor Rumford: "Are you from outer trouser?"

Doctor: "No. I'm more from what you'd call inner pants."

The birthday cake sequence was not, as legend would have you believe, abandoned because it was self indulgent but because an ill-judged member of the production team hid a stripper in the cake. She burst out on cue and although Tom Baker was delighted, Mary Tamm suffered an horrific flashback and was bedridden for four days. A similar thing happened when she saw "Alien" for the first time but it wasn't quite as serious as the alien didn't have tassels on its breasts.

Contrary to popular belief, this story isn't an inconsistent mess which cannot decide what it wants to be but rather was a photocopying accident which led to much of "The Stones of Blood" and "The Original Trial of a Timelord" becoming so badly creased that the only option was to keep what was left of each and hope no one noticed.

The BBC ran into problems during the location shoot as word got out about "The Nine Travellers" and local Daily Mail readers arrived to try and move them on.

Some people think that Gerald Cross providing the voice of The Guardian and one of the Megara means that the Megara and the Guardians are one and the same. They cite the adversarial nature of the Megaran judicial system as proof that one is White and one is Black. Others argue that it was probably a bit cheaper.

The Leamington-Smith so insultingly referred to in the story actually refers to a blacksmith from Leamington Spa who once shod David Fisher's horse. He did such a poor job that Fisher was stranded half way between Leamington and Kenilworth for over a week before help could arrive. He was pleased with his act of vengeance and was only sorry that the smith was crushed by his own anvil a month before the serial was broadcast.

...is that you're having a really bad day when even rocks are attacking you. Especially on your birthday.

Si Hunt

"I remember speaking to Williams about this story and he explained his objection to the "birthday" sequence. He said he felt it was too jocular and amusing to be included.

"Don't be pathetically stupid" I quipped. "Birthdays are not times for jocularity. If someone wrote a scene which implied that birthdays were amusing affairs then his entire script should've been destroyed - with a copy left in a safe place for me to find later - because obviously the writer had lost all grasp of reality. Birthdays are miserable affairs which simply give ones closer acquaintances the chance to take gifts from your home and sing songs at you in return. Not what I would call a satisfactory arrangement. Why, only last year Ian Devine helped himself to my 7.1 surround sound system and then recounted some ditty about how he wished "dear Dennis" a happy birthday. I told him he was becoming needlessly h-o-m-o-e-r-o-t-i-c and banished him to his bedroom".

Williams looked at me and said "I take it this means you don't want a copy of the tape?"

l had to think fast in order to get what I wanted and not lose my dignity.

"Yes please, oh god yes, please please please give me a copy, please Mr Williams, I'll love you forever, please please please please please" I said with implied post-modern irony.

"Oh very well" he said and gave me one of two tapes in his bag.

"Who is the other one for?" I asked.

"Some guy called Devine" he replied.

I gave him fifty thousand pounds and he burned it under my supervision. I hate birthdays - they are always so damned expensive."

Lazy columnist, Richard Wanger, writing in "Feyaway", was asked to write four hundred words on the significance of "The Stones of Blood" being the 100th Doctor Who story. "The Stones of Blood is the 100th Doctor Who story because it comes after" and then he listed the previous 99 stories. He concluded by saying "and this makes it significant". He was nominated for "Most Original Column of the Year" because this was the early 90s and he didn't mention Jonathan Powell.