Underworld
"Filthy, R1C and Catflap", "Seers", "Underworld, Overworld,
Wombling Free"
“The One with the Quest is the Quest is the
Quest” (USA), “An Affront to Our Culture” (Greece)
Doctor Who helps some
people obtain genetic material. He should've saved himself the bother and
just taken them to a nightclub.
*** - It aims low and only
narrowly misses the mark.
Abso-bloody-lutely every fucker: "The
quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is
the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest
is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the
quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is
the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest is the quest
is the quest is the quest is the quest!"
Doctor: "Don't ever play with strange
pants, Leela."
The story's most obvious flaw is that the
cast perform in front of poorly rendered CSO cave walls. The Restoration
Team hope to use modern CGI technology to rectify this problem. "Our plan
is to have computer generated actors superimposed on the poorly rendered
CSO cave walls" said Steve Roberts.
The scene where the meteorites converge
on the space ship had to be reshot after the first take was ruined by Tom
Baker wailing that it reminded him of women of a certain age attempting to
bond with him at supermarket openings.
Engelbert Humperdinck successfully sued
the BBC and the Doctor Who production gang for using his face, hair and
skin without permission. The judge threw out the BBC's "wilfully absurd"
claims that the offending material genuinely belonged to the actor Alan
Lake.
One wag suggested that "CSO" stood for
"clearly separate objects" but the laughter was short lived when he
couldn't explain what that was supposed to mean.
The BBC's Audience Research panel
generally "approved" of the story, with opinions ranging from "Doctor Who
has run out of steam" to "whoever was responsible should be broken on the
wheel". It scored highly amongst households containing at least one vicar.
...is that having enormous attraction
isn't always a good thing.
Si Hunt
“I can readily appreciate the struggles
those proles went through to find the Oracle. I remember many years ago
hearing a rumour that someone had almost completed digging a tunnel from a
park in London (I won't mention which for security reasons) to the
underground bunker which holds the complete archive of commercial
television's "teletext" service 'Oracle'. I saw an excellent
opportunity to c-o-c-k a snook at my "rival", Britain's so called coolest
telehistorian, Philip Stiffit. He had in his archive a complete collection
of 'Ceefax' articles and I am versed enough in squalid telepolitics to
know that commercial television has a kudos in his circles that publicly
funded broadcasting does not. So I tracked down the digger of this tunnel,
incapacitated him with three roles of athletic support tape and a dose of
rectal anaesthetic, and took command of the mission.
Naturally, being a Dennis Brent
operation, it was a complete success. The canisters containing the
fascinating technical material were removed and taken to Brent Towers for
safekeeping. A happy ending for once. Some might point out that they were
in fact dummy canisters and the entire North wing of my home was blown to
smithereens by the fiendish booby trap left by the archive's owners but
that would be to distract attention away from the main point which was the
success of the mission itself. Any other telling of that story would be
beneath contempt."
"Underworld" came ninth in a 1998 poll
to determine the Fifty Things That Aren't As Bad As We Thought They Were.
The list was voted on by the members of the British Doctor Who Foundation
and the top ten ran as follows -
-
Sex
-
Star Trek
-
Gay sex
-
A Labour government
-
"Marathon" bars being renamed
-
Putting a duvet cover on
-
The ITV movie being interrupted for
'News at Ten'
-
Beer
-
Doctor Who and the Underworld
-
Dressing up as Tegan
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