The Time Warrior

"The Lynx Effect", "Any Old Irongron?", "Doctor Who In An Exciting Adventure With June Brown"

"The One With The Golf Ball From Space" (USA), "Wide Headed Monster Attacked Old World Tokyo" (Japan)

Doctor Who goes back in time and convinces people he's a longshanked rascal with a mighty nose

*** - It's nice to see Doctor Who recognising the inherent intelligence of very short-sighted people

"Good grief - it's a Thyberman" (The Doctor's reaction to Lynx's mechanical warrior explains why he was the only Doctor never to meet Mondas's finest)

"She'll not get far before one of my guards grabs her pants"

This story sees the debut of a new set of closing credits. They were achieved by putting the relevant peoples names on top of some tunnel footage or other.

The decision to name the Doctor's planet "Gallifrey" caused a lot of friction within the fledgling Doctor Who Club as they officially considered The War Games had named it "Ourhomeplanet"

This story erroneously features potatoes in Medieval England. Potatoes weren't introduced until the sixteenth century. Equally, Sontarans weren't introduced to these isles until 1713.

Jon Pertwee welcomed Elisabeth Sladen with open arms. She was awarded an ex gratia payment of three pounds on condition she didn't sue for sexual harassment.

The supposedly mechanical metal warrior not only has a fleshy neck showing but can also be seen sporting an aroused trouser. Jon Pertwee ad libbed "I say, he's also somewhat of a longshanked rascal!" and was fined one guinea by Barry Letts for 'soiling the set'.

Irongron was original called "Ironbru" until Barry Letts intercepted a letter addressed to "Terrance Dicks Product Placement International" which was intended for an unnamed member of the production team.

...if you ARE a longshanked rascal with a mighty nose you should make sure you ingratiate yourself to the aristocracy

Si Hunt

"I recall an interview I did with "Elisabeth Sladen" for a publication that I won't name for legal reasons. She waffled for a good half hour about how rigorous the selection process was for "Doctor Who" and how she was proud to have been playing an assistant who was better than the other females to have appeared in the serial. "Don't be pathetically stupid" I said wittily when she paused for breath, "it is a well documented fact that the part was actually a male character called Simon John Smith and that you were cast by accident because you looked like a boy. Letts and Dicks were busy men and took one look at your short hair and lack of female attributes and gave you the job. Why else do you think that your character had so many male traits - self reliance, intelligence, courage, personality and popularity? Such characteristics simply do not occur in females and only a subnormal would've failed to spot the obvious paradox." She looked at me and grimaced at the realisation of her own inept stupidity. You may have noticed she sports a rather substantial fringe these days. That is no doubt to hide the results of the extremely masculine head butt she gave me towards the end of our interview. I considered replying with a richly comic comeback but I decided to pass out instead."

Neil Stomach, writing in "The Harp of Rastafarian", described his disappointment with the Time Warrior. "From the moment I saw him I was convinced that the masked alien would turn out to be the Master. In fact, I'm still not convinced that he wasn't. You see, we know the Master decayed after the Roger Delgado version so why couldn't he have mutated into something that looked like Lynx? And then cloned himself to prevent himself from dying completely. That would explain why he tried to conquer Gallifrey a few years later. If it wasn't for "the Two Doctors" contradicting me I would be right. I hate the Time Warrior. And the Two Doctors. And Mark Nutley who put my head in the girls toilets."