The Time Monster

"The Creature Known as Pitt", "Grecian 1972", "The Tie Monster"

"The One With the Breasts" (USA), "The Best Dr Who Until 1985" (Loaded)

Doctor Who stops a monster from destroying the Master

*** - How likely is it that two Time Lords could have simultaneous lapses in their TARDIS decor?

"Jo Grant: 'But what did he say?'
Doctor: 'Nothing. Not a word. He just sat there, silently, expressionless, and he listened while I poured out my troubles. I was too unhappy even for tears, I remember. When I'd finished, he lifted a skeletal hand and he pointed. Do you know what he pointed at?'
Jo Grant: 'No.'
Doctor: 'A tab of LSD. Just like a daisy it was. I licked at it for a moment and suddenly I saw through his eyes. It was simply glowing with life like a perfectly cut jewel, and the colours were deeper and richer than you could possibly imagine. It was the daisiest daisy I'd ever seen.'" (rewritten after a focus group)

"Handsome? Aye, he looked well enough. But his pants, Lakis. They were the pants of power. Such a man would risk the world to win his desires..."

This story was briefly popular with the show's fans.

The Doctor's wine bottle contraption won that year's Turner Prize but as it was paid for by the license fee, Jon Pertwee had to give the prize money to charity. He never forgave the Corporation or the general public.

Barry Letts was quite clearly a boob man.

If you multiply the bad science by the bad dialogue you get a number that is so big it can be seen from space. Katy Manning verified this during one of her trips down to Earth.

Aidan Murphy delivers his lines as if he's on the stage, Ian Collier as if he's in a sit com and Ingrid Pitt as if she's in a porn movie.

...is that breasts can make you forgive almost anything

Si Hunt

"The only fascinating technical project I have ever abandoned was my in-depth research into the various notable mammaries to have appeared in "Doctor Who". My abandonment had nothing to do with a lack of subject matter but rather the time I was forced to spend in hospital with what the doctor called the most severe case of testicular concussion he had ever witnessed. I had been interviewing Ingrid Pitt about her experiences on Story OOO when I was forced to explain the exact purpose of my mission. I then chanced my hand and asked if I could measure the objects in question. She replied that the passage of time meant there was a small amount of difference between 1972 and the present. "Don't be pathetically stupid" I said charismatically. "A fellow telehistorian called Butterworth has produced the Uhuru Formula which enables one to mathematically convert the sagging and rather dismal b-r-e-a-s-t-s of today into the p-e-r-t objects of yesteryear. All I need do is enter your now-wrinkled measurements into my slide rule and I'll be able to..." but that was as far as I got before she assaulted me. She launched a karate kick at my chest but luckily collided with the front of my hard wearing tweed trousers. The rest you no doubt read in the newspapers."

The 1972 Reader Awards edition of "the Doctor Who Newsletter (Incorporating "Doctor Who News" and "The Doctor Who Porthole")" saw a clean sweep for the Time Monster. It won "Best Serial", "Best Villain" (Krasis), "Best Actor" (David Prowse), "Best Actress" (Virginia Mull), "Best Sniffer Outer", "Best Use of Monochrome Stock Footage", "Best Use of Country Bumpkin", "Best Use of Breasts", "Most Erotic Use of Richard Franklin", "Most Dramatic Window Cleaner Scene of 1972" and "The Barry Bucknell Memorial Award For Best Interior Design".