Terror of the Autons

"Daffodil Duck", "The Master's Masterplan", "The Settees of Doom"

"The One With The Ejaculating Flowers" (USA), "Merry Face Big Head Flower Sellers in White Golden Murder Plot" (China)

Doctor Who stops the Master for the first time and looks forward to the sequel

*** - Someone call the police - Roger Delgado stole every single scene he appears in

The Master: "The human body has one basic weakness. But nothing a tube of lubricant can't take care of"

(cut from the script as mention of lubricants made Richard Franklin go noticeably wobbly and this made the walls shake)

"I have so few worthy pants. When they're gone I always miss them"

Examples of unconvincing, one dimensional CSO include the kitchen, the outside of a car and Captain Yates.

Katy Manning was the victim of a first day prank when she turned round on set and everyone snogged Liza Minelli

Roger Delgado was mistakenly credited as "The Mister" on episode three and as "Rigid Delgado" on episode four. By episode five he had stopped caring.

The GPO issued a press release after broadcast of episode three to assure the public that their stylish range of plastic telephones posed no risk to the public.

Questions were asked in Parliament about the use of Autons disguised as policemen. As a result, the Metropolitan Police force sent officers to every school in England and let the children pull at the men's faces until they were no longer frightened. Each officer received an ex gratia payment of ten shillings.

While Jo may have failed General science, Katy Manning actually has a doctorate in applied cosmic physics. She acted as unpaid and uncredited scientific advisor for the next two years until a row with Barry Letts about black holes lead to her telling him to "stick his dark matter" up his "gaseous anomaly".

...is that if you want to sell buns, don't be ham fisted

Si Hunt

Albanian Video

"I can readily empathise with the character of "Doctor Who" as he faces his mortal enemy in Story EEE. I myself have one particular deadly foe and the two situations are exactly the same. Just as "Doctor Who" has "The Master", so I - Dennis Brent - have Philip Stiffit. Once upon a time he was just another fascinating technical writer and we exchanged civil greetings every festive season. His work was rather flabby and I recall two occasions when he rounded studio recording session times to the nearest five minutes but he was generally a sensible man. However, that was before he earned the ghastly mantle of "Britain's Trendiest Telehistorian" by penning a vile question and answer column in Splash Magazine. A tawdry rag purchased by the terminally h-o-m-o-s-e-x-u-a-l, Splash Magazine has its "readers" write in asking absurdly simple questions about television and Philip Stiffit answers them. The man is a disgrace. Why, I even heard tell that he watched an entire episode of "Doctor Who" without making a single note. He's really evil and disgusting. He's officially my nemesis and if I ever meet him again I will get physical with him. I'd challenge him under the Marquis of Queensbury Rules but I fear a damn good fisting would be too good for him. He is repugnant and I know you'll agree with me when I say that it is one small sorry step from answering proles' questions to aiding an alien menace to take over the world and wipe out mankind. In fact, it's exactly the same in principle."

Bill Fluff (writing in "Flavia's Fantasy") broke the exciting news that anyone who had purchased the recently re-coloured video could, by using modern technology, experience the serial as they probably would've done in ye olde 1971 by reprogramming their television set's controls and making the picture black and white. Fluff claimed this was "the right thing to do" but added a disclaimer that he wouldn't be responsible for any social humiliation caused by forgetting to restore your TV set to colour and being thought "a scummy povo" by your friends or neighbours. Barry Mendel, long before the serial was restored to Technicolor, was only prepared to offer "all the nails on my left hand plus your choice of patella" in return for a copy of Terror of the Autons.