The Macra Terror

“Crab C Nesbitt”, “Crabs You Like It”, “Big Macra”

“The One with the Big Crustacean” (USA), “Giant Crabs Attack Tokyo” (Japan)

Doctor Who stops some giant crabs from dominating the world because that's a proper monster's job.

*** - If you’re going to do crab based drama, the bigger the better (as Shakespeare once said)

Polly “Giant crabs!”

Ben “I’ve got some cream for those.”

Polly “You don’t serve in the Navy without learning a thing or two.”

"The pants are in the hands of grotesque insects!"

‘Macra!’ A musical based on this serial was cancelled when Andrew Lloyd Webber found a book of TS Elliot poems in a shop in Hull.

In economics they talk about Micro- and Macro-economics. They rarely talk about Macra-economics because it’s theoretically impossible to build an economy around giant crabs. Indeed, in the whole of recorded history it has only been achieved twice.

The Daily Telegraph heralded this story as “The beginning of the New World Order” before revising that the next week by saying “No it isn’t.”

Patrick Troughton sprained a finger during rehearsals for episode two and had to wear a bandage that meant he was permanently flipping people the bird. Ever a shy man, Patrick performed the whole of part two with his hand in his pocket.

Frazer Hines and Michael Craze earned each others respect by competing in a duel over the weekend which fell between parts two and three of this serial. Firstly they battled with swords, then pistols before finally stripping naked and wrestling on the harsh moors of Kent. After two days of solid combat they collapsed into an exhausted heap and swore they would be comrades until the day they died.

Anneke Wills had no one to fight with and took up knitting instead.

Si Hunt

"I was reading a popular semi-professionally published book about "Doctor Who" when I came across the entry for Story JJ. It alleged that the image of the Controller seen on the screen in the Pilot's office was a photograph of story editor Gerry Davis. I was too aghast to carry on reading. I made a note of the author's name, looked him up in my files and cycled round to his house with the alleged book in my satchel. "Don't be pathetically stupid" I said, pushing the book through his cat flap and pointing at the offending paragraph with a spare finger. I became a little concerned when he began to lick my fingers. I was on the verge of calling for a constable when the door opened and I saw that it was the "writer's" dog masticating over my hand. "You are disseminating lies" I said firmly. I will admit that my authority was lessened slightly by my arm being stuck in his flap but I was prepared to stick to my guns. "That sentence is in the popular myths section" he said weakly, "and the next sentence says the picture was actually of Graham Leaman, who played the Controller." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was accusing me - Dennis Brent - of having made a careless mistake. I yanked my arm free from his cat flap, gave him a sour stare of contempt and left him with a stinging parting shot, "and you can keep the sleeve of my jacket" I said as I rode off."

The obligatory STD reference

The obligatory toxic gas / flatulence reference