Genesis of the Daleks

As Genesis of the Daleks unfolded in early 1993, week by week on a Friday evening, I knew immediately that this was Doctor Who at its best. Ok, so the stuff with the Time Ring confused me as I didn’t have everything in its proper fictional context yet but apart from that it was perfect. Perhaps it was too perfect – too good at what it was – and that is why I never grew attached to the Tom Baker era as I did with the first three Doctors. Genesis is so bleak and there is little room for the character Tom was beginning to unwrap. But that is psycho babble and this is meant to be memories and nostalgia so I’ll put that idea in a box and wait for my far-too-long Doctor Who psychoanalysis series. Don’t tempt me.

I occasionally pick up a phrase from Doctor Who and let it become part of my vocabulary. Genesis of the Daleks gave me "when the universe was less than half its present size". I can and do use it to describe anything from the era when Philip Schofield held court in the Broom Cupboard to that brief spell when people with aesthetic taste thought Comic Sans MS was quite a pretty little font. "Do you remember the time [AussieGuy] choked on a staple?" my sidekick will ask. "Ah yes – happy days" I’ll reply. "That must be two years ago… back when the universe was less than half its present size."

"Right" my sidekick says. "Hmm. Do you remember when he ate that Malteaser which we found under a pile of boxes in that dusty corner of the office?"

"Yes. That was back when the universe was less than half its present size too" I’ll reply.

"I’m not doing this any more" he’ll scold.

"Good point."

Or something along those lines anyway.

The universe - now it's present size

Revenge of the Cybermen

Not seeing the season in order didn’t help me here. Though I must’ve seen it in more or less the right order as Genesis was the only week away from the UKGold omnibuses (omnibi?) Maybe it just felt confusing. The first couple of episodes are wandering round a space station which looks familiar and something about a plague. Oh, and the entire guest cast seem to be sweating too much. Then the Cybermen arrive and the serial both perks up and peaks with the cliffhanger to episode two. Everyone is shot down and the Cyberleader declares that the beacon is theirs. This was one of the few cliffhangers which really made me hurry the adverts along. Generally the cliffhanger was just something which cued me up to put the tape on pause so I didn’t have to record the adverts. But this one was really effective. It helps that they are probably the best Cybermen in the series. Even the much maligned voice is my favourite cyber-voice.

I’d seen the “pathetic bunch of tin soldiers” speech somewhere. I forget whether it was on the Tom Years or in one of the documentaries. Either way, it is still a monumentally silly piece of writing. Not because the Doctor taunts his enemies and forces them to make a mistake but because everything he’s saying is true. From the clip I assumed it was just a ploy – like McCoy conning Davros into using the Hand of Omega or doing exactly the same thing with the Nemesis statue. So as I watched Revenge of the Cybermen that Sunday morning I was rather appalled to see it wasn’t in fact a scheme. It was a statement of fact. The Cybermen really were a bunch of tin soldiers wandering around in an old space ship with no influence, no power and nothing but cyber-afros to keep them busy. I may have been devouring Doctor Who on a weekly basis but even I could take a moment to step aside and imagine banging someone’s head against a wall for hammering home that the Cybermen are pieces of cheese.

It works as long as you don't smack us around the head
with the fact that there are three of them and they're failures

Terror of the Zygons

Having seen the bit where the Skarasen has its control device thrown to, at or into its mouth, watching Terror of the Zygons was a case of wanting to know how they got to the bit at the end. The feeling I got from it is that this is early Tom at its most jocular and its most cosy and it didn’t come close to the warmth of the Pertwee era. I think I saw it in two halves – before shopping and after shopping – and the gap came just as everyone was turning into something else so I was a bit confused. But we’re now approaching the period where I have almost no memories of watching Doctor Who…

The magic has officially gone

Planet of Evil

…such as Planet of Evil. I know it bored the pants off me and I had to look up just now and check my DVD shelf to know whether it was out on DVD. Yes I’ve got it. Yes it’s the only DVD I’ve got which hasn’t been anywhere near my DVD player. It dragged terribly that Sunday morning. I don’t think there is anything terribly wrong with it – the only thing I didn’t like at the time was yet more very-angry-acting from Prentis Hancock. Has that man ever smiled on television?

Prentis Hancock having just been given a million pounds

Pyramids of Mars

After the Green Death livened up Sunday lunchtimes on BBC2 it was the turn of Pyramids of Mars. I can’t remember whether I’d already seen it or not. What I do remember is going to school on Monday morning and my beloved mentioning that she’d watched it. We even had a little argument about whether the Doctor had been bathed in green light or covered in green slime at the end of the episode (it was episode 3). Because she was my beloved and I was not yet her beloved, I was all too eager to give in and let her win even though she was obviously wrong. The crazy things one will do for love.

This man does not slime people

The Android Invasion

I’ve searched in vain for a website which gives some detailed information on UK Gold’s Doctor Who screenings. I half think that the Android Invasion was shown in a Terry Nation block along with all his other stories rather than being part of the normal run. But the other half of me thinks that sort of nonsense was over and done with by the time we were into the Tom Baker era. Either way, this felt at the time like a very poor copy of Terror of the Zygons with people who weren’t the people they looked like running around while the last fumes of UNIT try in vain to get things sorted out.

Years later I remember feeling very down indeed and was snapped out of it by finding the Android Invasion having yet another airing on UK Gold. I immediately decided to do something useful and embarked on a major spring (or whatever season it was at the time) clean. The sudden jolt in mood was so quick that I didn’t bother to get dressed first. I won't go into any more details. You’re too young.