I ran an online tournament for a year or so in which every story was
entered into a random single elimination draw and the public – i.e. the
members of that particular forum – voted for the winner. Eventually I
think Caves of Androzani won but by the end it was rushed and I’d lost
interest and I think everyone else had to. I tried to redo the idea a few
years later but it died on its arse. Anyway, the biggest surprise for me
in that tourney was when the Ambassadors of Death was drawn against
Inferno. In my description of the bout I mentioned how it was a difficult
decision, two heavyweights, nothing to choose between them et cetera.
Imagine me surprise then when vote after vote said it was no contest,
Inferno was easily the better of the two, a mismatch if ever they’d seen
one. I had no idea Ambassadors of Death had such a lousy reputation. To me
it has a special place in my affections because it was – amazing as it
sounds – my first proper Doctor Who cliff-hanger. Many of you and many
more of the population at large will have grown up with weekly
cliff-hangers as a staple part of your childhood. But I never watched it
that closely. Unless I’ve buried a whole box full of traumatic Tardis
memories – and lord knows there are plenty of people who would charge me
by the hour to uncover them – I was never that keen a viewer on original
transmission. Even the BBC2 repeat run – which went into hiatus after
three stories – didn’t give me the cliff-hanger buzz. When I came to play
catch up (see every other sentence in this essay) it was through videos,
omnibuses and nightly showings. Ambassadors of Death was the first omnibus
I needed (having already got the Silurians on video) which UK Gold felt
was too long for one day. Six was their absolute limit. Seven was taking
things too far. So the first four episodes aired one Sunday, the last
three the following week. So that scene where the Doctor is listening to
(or for) the heart of whatshisname from the Ministry and the alien
astronaut looms over him, ready to kill with a single touch, was the first
occasion on which I felt that “damn – I’ve got to wait a week to know what
happens next” feeling. I wouldn’t get that feeling again until some of the
New Series cliff-hangers, back before I knew that disappointment would
inevitably follow. Not that any Doctor Who cliff-hanger has ever matched
Xena or Buffy for the sheer adrenaline punch of “no no – not now – don’t
end it now – gimme more – more – more”.
Later, Ambassadors of Death would become the weird hybrid colour-black &
white video which everyone would assume would be really distracting and
jarring to watch. When in fact I remember watching it for the first time –
ready to be distracted – and regularly not noticing the fades in and out
of colour. I’d be in the middle of a black and white bit and think “hang
on – this isn’t in colour any more” and find it hadn’t been for a couple
of minutes. Yes it is absurd to think Britain would be putting a man on
Mars but I adored the Ambassadors of Death on UK Gold, I adored it on
video and I’ll be adoring it on DVD when it comes out sometime between now
and 2012.
Don't do that... look out, Doctor... ARGHHH
Inferno
I don’t know why but I’m sure I watched Inferno late at night on UK Gold.
The teatime showings stopped after a few months and the series was shifted
to a much later slot – at the mercy of the schedules but usually about
11ish. It might still have been in a double bill with the Goodies because
I can remember seeing the Goodies episode with a police box flying past
during a late night session. It must’ve been a school holiday but why I
only watched Inferno I have no idea. I do know being appalled that one
episode ending excitingly and I’d have to wait until after the weekend for
the payoff. It must’ve been a night time showing because I was wearing
headphones – not something I’ve ever been particularly keen on.
I didn’t buy the video when it came out but I do remember finding a
boxless copy in Manchester’s WHS for a few pounds not long after. I didn’t
get it – boxless videos rather defeated the object of having something to
put on your shelves. Though the wide double-spine with just a single word
on it always did look a little spartan. Years later when I finally did buy
it – from HMV in Manchester – it became the first, and only, Doctor Who
video I ever paid over the RRP for. Back in the VHS era, HMV would always
slap an extra pound or two on videos and amazingly got a way with it.
£17.99 it set me back. Worth it though.
And, because it never gets
old, the DVD will always be remembered for the strange noise Mr Courtney
makes during Barry Letts's talk about CSO.
This picture of two boxless video cassettes
is for the benefit
of anyone under 16 who has never seen a video tape
Terror of the Autons
I know I got Terror of the Autons from sunny Macclesfield one Saturday
afternoon. Beyond that I don’t really remember anything about it apart
from watching it that same evening. I know that for a long time I believed
Terror of the Autons was the first time the series used CSO. It’s an
absurd thing to believe but technically, in a democracy, you have to be
prepared to die to defend my right to believe it. When I eventually
realised that CSO had been liberally and extensively used the previous
year I actually wondered whether its use might’ve gone back even further.
You don’t need to be Steve Roberts to appreciate that colour separation
overlay wouldn’t have been possible in season six. Otherwise, I know the
reviews of Terror of the Autons made a big deal about the white splodge on
the cover. Someone likened it to Tippex being spilt on the art work. I see
their point. Why try to recreate a lousy special effect on the cover you
hope will entice people to buy it?
