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 The Whovian English Dictionary (click here for a little history) Updated (finally!!) 17th May 2004 A Alzarius Slang term for Mr Jolson's body parts (oft. vulg.) Androgum Genderless Wrigley's Arbitan Compulsory bronzing of the skin (cf. California) Argolis cosmic catalogue shop Ark in Space Saying used in the 23rd Century Martian colony of New Yorkshire Aukon Dishonest iron mining scheme Axonite Evening dedicated to the all consuming French insurance company B Bandril Prohibiting DIY Beevers Poetry (usually about honey) Borad "Dennis Brent would like to meet a nice young lady for fun and possibly more…" C Captain Dent Superficial damage to a military hat box Castrovalva The private parts of a Cuban dictator's wife Centauri The peculiar smell of a member of the Conservative Party Chessene Childish means of deciding who plays white and who black (full version "chessene meenie miny moe" Chesterton Extremely heavy breast implants Chronovore Someone who eats old ladies Cornell The lusty cry of King Charles II Crusade A soft drink which tastes like a North Western rail junction Cybermats Goes under your cybermouse to protect it from your cyberdesk D Daleks Roald's former wife Doctor Being shown round a port (cf "Hello sailor") Doland Homer Simpson theme park E Ergon Scouse term meaning "bald" Excalibur Tom Baker judging a woman worthy of briefly being his wife F Fang Rock Vampiric Metallica G Ghostlight A low calorie alternative to ghosts Gravis The lead singer of Pulp gets even more serious Grimwade The art of viewing all of Season 24 one after the other Guardian Place Mr Chesterton in protected custody H Harrison Chase To molest someone and then pursue them Hartnell Frequent ending to correspondence between Miss Gwyne and King Charles HAVOC Special type of Sandminer robot designed to be humorous I J Jaconda Breed of snake which goes up hills to fetch pails of water Jondar Device for locating American toilets K Karfel Dubious item on a motor insurance claim form Katryca Someone with a feline aroma Kemble Barbie's boyfriend telling lies Kilgarriff Will Young's plot for career longevity Kroton Small pieces of bread put in particularly dull soup L Lasky Means of opening a Lancastrian chastity belt M Mandragora A closet transvestite Matrix Jokes played one month after April Fools McCoy Shy Scotsman Mechanoids Anal complaint caused by too much bingo Mechanus A Roman garage worker Menoptra Given the choice, males will always choose the wrong option Melkur A dog with red hair Mentor Gay coach trip Miniscope A verdict on the "Italian Job" chase sequence Mr Sin The painful realisation of a man worn out by gluttony, sloth, greed, lust, anger and pride Monoid To be really angry about a very specific thing Morbius A pub with a late licence Morgaine The opposite of Slimfast Morok People who can't get enough of The Darkness N Necros - younger brother of Jonathan, became a vampire and now sucks even more than Paul Nicholas Briggs Beryl Reid's half naked space captain Nyder Kind of synthetic stupidity developed in New York O P Paradise 2 gaming cubes Perivale A town in the Potteries with two large hills Perpugilliam "Brazil" director's family cat rations its affection Pertwee The art of urinating in an arrogant manner Professor Hayter Someone with a genuine loathing of the McCoy era Q Quark Sound made by a very posh duck R Ribos Bok's favourite brand of training shoe Robert Holmes Books which teach people how to steal Robin Bland Mythical outlaw who robbed from the dull and gave to the mildly uninteresting Rutan The act of regretting too long spent on the sunbed S Scarlioni To disfigure David Duchovny's wife Sensesphere The fragrant ball in a roll-on deodorant Sensorites A philosophical battle between feelings and morals Shada Where Chico Marx goes to get out of the sun Shearman To remove ones beard Skaro Disposable Dalek writing implement Sladen To make something resemble Noddy Holder Soldeed Document conferring legal ownership of the sun Sontaran Mr & Mrs Capel's boy Spiders Really obvious things taught to secret agents Starliner Sanitary towel for celebrities Sullivan To stain a Ford Transit Sutehk The former name of The University of Su Sylvester Person who clothes Nabil Shaban T T-Mat Added to the traditional tea-set when it was introduced in America as the locals kept trying to bomb the sugar bowl Tardis To be disrespectful to someone who is always late Tekker Big fan of Shatner's Tek Wars Telos Terry Venables' failed PC operating system Terminus aka "semester" at American Universities Terradon Fear of The Godfather Terrance Dicks Pointy wooden objects native to planet Earth Tractator Spud stalker Traken Cilla Black saying goodbye to Ken Dodd (slang: an aristocratic railway authority; see also Railtraken) Troughton The bizarre practice of wearing a fish as a hat U Underworld Lingerie superstore UNIT Brusque order given to Begonia Pope V Vervoids Anal complaint caused by listening to "Bittersweet Symphony" Vizlor Rules of conduct in adult comics W War Machine The act of heating the actor who plays President Bartlet in West Wing Waterfield Place where Glastonbury is held each year Waterhouse A very large lavatory X Xeros Politically correct way of making noughts and crosses equal Y Z
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