Q. Mary, you are widely regarded as one of Britain’s great classical actresses. To what do you attribute your longevity?

A. It’s a pleasure to be here, Martin. I think my success comes down to a lot of good fortune and the support of the British people.

Q. That’s the wrong answer. Try again.

A. Erm… well, I think my stunning good looks have helped me to retain the mantle of Britain’s Glamour Queen.

Q. No. That is not the right answer.

A. Um… I’m sorry but… I suppose my choice of roles has helped me to be accepted as a character actress.

Q. You’re not trying hard enough. ANSWER the QUESTION.

A. I really don’t know what you want me to say…

Q. Mary, would you agree that your status as Britain’s grand old lady of entertainment is in some way related to your enjoying a healthy breakfast each morning?

A. I certainly would. I believe that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, certainly.

Q. What is the secret of a Mary Tamm breakfast?

A. I start off with orange juice and a bowl of fresh melon.

Q. Next.

A. Well, sometimes I enjoy a bowl of bran flakes.

Q. No. Try again. Make a better answer this time.

A. I… I… I…

Q. Mary, my dear, you are Britain’s most charming senior citizen. Would you say you enjoy eating bread?

A. I certainly do. Bread – as the Bible tells us – is fantastic.

Q. What is your favourite way of eating bread?

A. In a nice sandwich.

Q. Hot sandwich?

A. Oh no – definitely a traditional “butty”.

Q. You are DELIBERATELY trying to provoke me AREN’T you?

A. I’m sorry?

Q. That’s all right then. Do you own a toaster?

A. Naturally.

Q. Then for god’s sake tell me your favourite thing to make in the toaster.

A. Well, toast I suppose.

Q. (bells ring) That is the right answer. Ladies and gentlemen you heard it here first – Mary Tamm attributes her success, longevity and beauty to toast. Good night everyone.

A. Good nig…

Q. Shut up, the camera is on me now.