Q. As someone metallic, do you feel an affinity with spoons ?

A. Spoon - object for eating or drinking liquid. Relationship with superior computer, nil.

Q. Seeing as you have no hands, do you magnetise your nose in order to use a spoon ?

A. Fail to see relevance of question. Computers do not eat or drink liquid ergo do not need spoons.

Q. Surely everyone uses spoons. Spoons are lovely, spoons are beautiful. Spoons are the supreme cutlery of the universe...

A. Your silliness is noted.

Q. Ahem. During your time in the TARDIS, did you notice the Doctor using a lot of different spoons ?

A. Doctor master's TARDIS contains one million three hundred and ninety one thousand six hundred and two spoons.

Q. That sounds like paradise... I mean, were any of them given to him by major historical figures ?

A. Doctor master has a set of tea spoons presented to him by Genghis Khan. He keeps them in a cupboard in room three, corridor nine, level six, zone four.

Q. Wow. The Doctor had a lot of attractive young ladies in his TARDIS - did he ever tempt them aboard by promising to show them his spoon collection ?

A. Negative - that would be silly.

Q. Silly ? SILLY ?? Why you little...

<<THUNK>>

Q. Owww.

A. Warning - if you kick me again I will kill you.

Q. Has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with a spoon ?

A. Negative.